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Full text of "Omni Magazine (February 1992)"






editor in chief & design director: bob guccione 

presidents, c.o.o.: kathy keeton 

editor: keith ferrell 

grap- :-: : rector "rank devino 

managing editor: caroline dark 

art director: dwayne flinchum 



By Keith Ferrell 
Fascinated by SF 



By Sandy Fritz 


By Steve Nadis 
Conserving mental energy 


By Marvin Cetron and 

Owen Davies 

Preparing for 2000 


OMNI Treasure Hunt 


By Sandy Fritz 

Political Science 

By Tom Dworetzky 
The electronic government 


By Charles Piatt 


Electronic Universe 

By Gregg Keizer 

By Scot Morris 

See page 20 for details about Omni's annual 
Treasure Hunt. Follow the directions for 

your chance to win more than $40,000 in prizes — 
including a car,' a motorcycle, and a trip 

for two to Paris. (Art and photo credits, page 88) 



By Tom Dworetzky 

Glasnost has begun to 

reveal the 

appalling abuse of 

in the Soviet Union. 


By Kathleen McAuliffe 

Much less than 20,000 

leagues under 

, contestants race 


submarines in a chaotic 


Future Manners 

By Steve Dltlea 
ing courtesy alive ir 
an increasingly 
technological world. 

Fiction: The Life of My 

By Jonathan Carroll 

A man's habitual lies have 

bizarre consequences. 


By Thomas Bass 
Nigerian psychiairist 

Thomas Lam bo 

and mental illness in 



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"If the heavens above can be measured . 

By Paul Davies 

Paul Davies 
is Professor of 
Physics at the 
University of 
Adelaide. His lat- 
est book The 
Mind of God Will 
be published by 
Simon & Schuster 
in February. 

Throughout history there 
has been a dream that 
mankind would one day 
come to know the reason for the 
existence of the universe. Some 
believed that this ultimate knowl- 
edge could be attained through 
mystical revelation. Others sup- 
posed that rational reasoning 
would provide the key. In the mod- 
ern era, science has been seen 
as the natural route to this com- 
pelling goal. Recently, an increas- 
ing number of scientists have 
asked whether an ultimate expla- 
nation for the physical world is pos- 
sible and, if so, what form this 
explanation might take. 

All science proceeds on the as- 
sumption that the universe is ra- 
tional and therefore can be under- 
stood by systematic investigation 
and human reasoning, the suc- 
cess of the scientific enterprise is 
eloquent testimony to the power 
of this assumption. But in fact, we 
have absolutely no right to expect 
that the workings of nature will re- 
flect human rationality in its deep- 
est principles. Our mental facul- 

ties have evolved in accordance 
with biological selection for their 
survival value. It is hard to see 
how the ability to do science re- 
lates to survival "in the jungle." 

When Sir Isaac Newton first 
formulated the laws of mechan- 
ics and gravitation, he believed 
that he was uncovering the hand- 
iwork of a rational God who had 
created an ordered universe by 
imposing eternal mathematical 
laws. Scientists came to regard 
the laws of physics as thoughts 
in the mind of God. Because 
they believed that Man was 
made in God's image, it was no 
surprise that Man's own rational 
inquiry could reveal God's ration- 
al handiwork. But in modern 
times the theistic link has been 
severed, and the laws of physics 
are treated as "free-floating," al- 
though they retain the divine at- 
tributes of being eternal, abso- 
lute, and universal. 

We do not know where these 
free-floating laws come from, 
what supports them, or why they 
have the form they do. The fact 
that we can come to know the 
laws suggests to me that our ex- 
istence in the universe as con- 
scious organisms is not merely an 
incidental quirk of fate, but is fun- 
damental to the workings of na- 
ture. In other words, our own ex- 
istence is intimately related to the 
existence of the universe, with its 
particular laws and structures. 
That is not to say that homo sa- 
piens as such is preordained, on- 
ly that the emergence of mind 
from matter somewhere and some- 
when is written into the laws of 
the universe in a basic way. 

No evidence for this cosmic 
connection Is more compelling 
than the role of mathematics in na- 
ture. The astronomer Sir James 
Hopwood Jeans once pro- 
claimed that "God is a pure math- 
ematician!" He was referring to 
the fact that the fundamental 

laws of physics seem to be ex- 
pressible in compact mathemati- 
cal form. Mathematical physics 
reaches its most developed and 
elegant manifestation in the atom- 
ic and subatomic realm and in 
gravitational theory. Many physi- 
cists believe we will soon be able 
to write down a unified theory of 
all the forces and particles of na- 
ture. They strive for a succinct, all- 
embracing mathematical scheme 
from which a description of all 
physical processes will flow. 

Whether or not this is an achiev- 
able goal, it is clear that mathe- 
matics is a key that has unlocked 
the secrets of the universe. Yet 
mathematics is a product of the 
human mind. How strange that 
something created by the higher 
processes of the brain — the 
most developed and complex sys- 
tem known to science — should 
find such ready application at the 
deepest and most primitive level 
of physical reality. Why should bi- 
ological evolution select for math- 
ematical prowess when the most 
spectacular applications of math- 
ematics are to things like atoms 
and black holes, which have no 
possible connection with biologi- 
cal competition? 

The fact that science works, 
that we human beings are privy 
to the hidden principles on 
which the universe runs, seems 
to me to be a fact of profound sig- 
nificance. It would have been 
easy for biological evolution to pro- 
duce organisms that were intelli- 
gent but nevertheless unable to 
crack the mathematical code in 
which the laws of nature are en- 
crypted. Whatever meaningless 
Darwinian accidents may have 
contributed to homo sapiens' 
characteristics, the existence of 
our rational minds can be no in- 
cidental triviality. I am convinced 
it is the inevitable consequence 
of a world structured by mathe- 
matical self-consistency. CXI 


o Met Life 

SNOOPY: © 1958 Lnilad FeaiurB Syfidi 



H.G. Wells brought a high degree of social consciousness to his 

science fiction. Where has his example gone? 

Herbert George Wells got 
science fiction just 
about right. He should 
have: after all, almost single- 
handedly, Wells invented modern 
science fiction, creating or refin- 
ing most of its major themes, 
setting a standard that has been 
approached all too rarely, and 
equalled almost never. 

Good science fiction, H.G. 
Wells realized, requires strong 
characters, careful plotting, dy- 

namic prose. Above all, effective 
SF must have at its heart a con- 
cept that soars, that extends and 
enhances our understanding of 
the world we live in, the challeng- 
es we face. SF must meet all of 
the requirements imposed upon 
any work of fiction and support a 
conceptual framework that lifts it 
beyond the here-and-now. 

Think of what Wells gave us: 
time travel ( The Time Machine), in- 
terplanetary invasion (The War Of 

distant worlds 


ence fiction have 


to say about our 

own world, our 

and challenges. 

The Worlds), invisibility (The In- 
visible Man) : an early approach 
to biological engineering (The Is- 
land Of Doctor Moreau), and on 
and on. In each case, Wells of- 
fered strong adventure coupled 
with great imagination: he holds 
readers captive by storytelling pow- 
er alone. 

But there was another ingredi- 
ent to his work, one missing from 
too much of today's science fic- 
tion: social commentary and po- 
litical insight. 

Wells, for all his soaring imagi- 
nation, was very much a man of 

his times. Actively involved in pol- 
itics and the quest for social re- 
forms, Wells brought to his fiction 
the same engagement with issues 
that he brought to his nonfiction. 
He cared about the rights of hu- 
man beings, the necessity of ed- 
ucation, the triumph of idea over 
brute force. 

Wells's "scientific romances" 
were as much "thought experi- 
ments" as stories. He possessed 
a mind willing to explore an idea 
to its absolute limits, however pain- 
ful. The Wellsian approach re- 
mains vital. As thought-experi- 
ment, SF gives readers an oppor- 
tunity to step outside their own 
world, to see it reflected through 
a literary lens that is perhaps dis- 
torting but whose distortions are 
the deliberate work of serious art- 
ists and thinkers. 

Dozens of writers have risen to 
the Wellsian challenge and 
made it their own: some, indeed, 
have lifted science fiction to high- 
er literary and intellectual planes 
than even Wells achieved. 

But one need only visit a book- 
store to see that there are dozens, 
if not hundreds, of other writers 
whose SF is little more than alterna- 
tive television — safe, silly, sappy 
space adventures in which ail 
turns out well because so little is 
ever really at risk. 

That's a shame. We live in a 
world re-invented by science over 
the decades of this dangerous 
and dirty century. Science fiction, 
better than any other art form, has 
wrestled with the risks inherent to 
our age, shown us the possible 
consequences of our actions, 
made us aware of the dangers un- 
derlying some of our advances. 
It is this ability, exemplified by 
Wells and enhanced by the best 
of those who have followed him. 
that make science fiction — real sci- 
ence fiction — the dominant and 
most important literary form of our 
time. — Keith Ferrell 




Reflections on'the children of Guatemala, the challenge 

of RU 486, too many dives. 

Echoes from Guatemala 
Bravo to journalist W.E. Giitman (Suffer 
the Children, November 1991) for risk- 
ing his life to witness and report on one 
of the worst examples of brutality and 
inhumanity in the 1990s: Guatemala's 
treatment of children. Bravo to Omni tor 
being daring enough to present its read- 
ers with a cold, harsh look at the pre- 
sent alongside its more optimistic vi- 
sions of the future. Intelligent and car- 
ing people need to see both. 

Craig D. Young, PsyD. 
Greenville, SC 

I found your article on Guatemala grip- 
ping and deeply moving, as intended. 
But as a frequent visitor to the Land of 
Eternal Spring and a sobered observ- 
er of U.S.-Latin American relations, I al- 
so found it disturbing in ways not intend- 
ed. Violence is unforgivable and 
should be condemned. But, we will on- 
ly get to the heart of the violence if we 
begin to see our own culpability and in- 
volvement and get to the source of the 
problems rather than assuaging our 
guilt by pointing fingers at the poor. 

Paul E. Munsell 
Holt, Ml 

Man Behind the Pill 
Thomas Bass' interview of Etienne- 
Emile Baulieu (September 1991), the de- 
veloper of the RU 486 abortion pill, pro- 
vided an interesting glimpse of the man 
behind the pill. It also documented the 
often uncertain process by which sci- 
entists are drawn into major lines of re- 
search and the far-ranging ethical is- 
sues raised by that research. I was ex- 
tremely disappointed, however, that the 
article did not address the problem of 
AIDS. While RU 486 may be viewed by 
some as liberating women by providing 
one more weapon in the arsenal of con- 
traceptives, I believe that many read- 
ers may take this interview to suggest 
that we no longer need to use the "old- 
fashioned" condom during sexual inter- 
course. This would be a serious error, 
as proper use of the condom remains 
our single most effective method of pre- 
venting transmission of the AIDS virus. 

The editors of Omni might have taken 
advantage of this interview to make a 
responsible statement concerning the 
ever-worsening AIDS crisis in which het- 
erosexuals are fast becoming the larg- 
est population at risk. 

Joseph R. Scotti, Ph.D. 
West Virginia University 
AIDS Prevention Project 

Thank you for the September issue, 
which included a very interesting inter- 
view with Or. Etienne-Emile Baulieu. I 
strongly support the clinical testing of 
RU 486 in the United States. Roussel- 
Uclaf has cited the "debate and cli- 
mate" around abortion in this country 
as a reason for not exporting the drug 
to the U.S. for testing. Because I believe 
that elected officials can help to 
change the climate, I am organizing a 
coalition of American mayors in an ef- 
fort to convince Roussel-Uclaf that RU 
486 enjoys broad support in this coun- 
try. Articles and interviews like yours 
help this cause by educating the pub- 
lic about the political plight of this med- 
ical milestone. Toward that end, I com- 
mend Omni tor bringing the story of Dr. 
Baulieu's discovery to a wide audience 
in this country. 

Mayor David N. Dinkins 
New York, NY 

Bass Out of Water 

I was flattered and pleased to have 
been interviewed by Omni for your No- 
vember issue. You may, however, re- 
ceive letters claiming that I have exag- 
gerated the number of dives I made. 
On page 72 it says that I have made 
more than 50,000 decompression 
dives. What I believe I said was that I 
had been in charge of 50,000 decom- 
pression dives. We normally have 20 to 
25 divers on each project, and thus, I 
have probably made between 1,500 
and 2,000 dives. Already two local di- 
vers have questioned me about the fig- 
ure of 50,000. Otherwise, everything 
was most accurate. 

Professor of Nautical Archaeology 
Texas A&M University DO 


Medieval art, rational lyricism, new history, and a visual encyclopedia 

By Sandy Fritz 


Boxed, illustrated edition. 
Daniel Boorstin. Harry Abrams 
Company, 1991, $75 
PLUSES: A great work of histo- 
ry, now greatly illustrated. 
MINUSES: Almost too beau- 
tiful to use. 

VERDICT: Boorstin's best 
book made better. 

Daniel Boorstin understands 
history, the history of ideas, and 
how to write about them for gen- 
eral readers. In the years since 
its original publication, The Dis- 
coverers has reached hundreds 
of thousands of readers, illumi- 
nating for them the grand 
scope and interplay of ideas 
throughout human history. He 
captures the drama, and the 
loneliness of the. discoverer, the 
person who reaches outward 
for new knowledge and insight.. 

Now the book itself is illumi- 
nated with gorgeous illustra- 
tions, beautifully bound and 
boxed in a two-volume format 
that is as readable as it is attrac- 
tive: A great gift, especially if 
you're giving it to yourself. 

tion and genuine respect. Greek 
and Roman societies framed 
their philosophical views in geo- 
metric patterns, and so did the 
Celts. Rational lyricism is an odd 
concept, but, as Celtic art demon- 
strates, it works. 




Random House, 1991. $60 
PLUSES: An art-driven refer- 
ence book for everybody. 
MINUSES: Not exactly 
an impulse buy. 

Why should kids get all the 
good stuff? Ignore the title of this 
first-rate, 600-plus-page, colorful 
encyclopedia. It's an ideal gift for 
anyone who prizes visual informa- 
tion over words. 

Our assistant fiction editor, a 
Yale graduate in Medieval Histo- 


Reproduction. Harry Abrams Com- 
pany, 1991. $18,000 
PLUSES: A masterpiece of cal- 
ligraphy . . . 

MINUSES: . . . that costs 
VERDICT: Worth every penny. 

Henry VIII reas- 
serted the power 
of his royal family 
by ravishing Brit- 
ain's monasteries. 
This move de- 
UM^^/Jtit stroyed lots of 
"■ ■■■''.' I priceless, ancient 
treasures — with 
one notable excep- 

tion: The Book of Kells. An Irish 
monk took it before the king's 
agents arrived. 

Detailed, head-swooning art- 
work festoons the pages of this lim- 
ited reproduction. You could buy 
a car for $18,000, or you could 
buy The Book of Kells. The car's 
value will depreciate. The book 
will do the exact opposite. 


Aidan Meehan. Thames & 
Hudson, 1991. $14.95 
PLUSES: Beckons the mind to 
think in alien ways. 
MINUSES: Can cause dizzi- 

VERDICT: Reignites a nearly ex- 
tinct art form. 

This book is a remarkable prim- 
er on the subtle geometry under- 
pinning The Book of Kells and oth- 
er Celtic artwork. Scanning the 
text produces brandylike intoxica- 

ries, cheered at the two-page en- 
try under "Castles" that featured 
a cutaway diagram of a fortress. 
"Look! You can even see prison- 
ers chained to the dungeon 
walls!" He followed the Find Out 
More suggestions to entries on 
the Crusades, knights, the Middle 
Ages, and Normans. Science, pol- 
itics, and world cultures checked 
out equally well. DO 



PET scans reveal how the brain delegates mental tasks 

By Steve Nadis 

A PET scan, like 

that below, 

would most likely 

have revealed 

that the late jazz 

legend Miles 

Davis drew on the 

After ten years as an 
amateur boxer, Michael 
i Phelps decided that 
rather than pummel brains, he'd 
invent a machine to reveal their 
Inner workings. !n 1974 he and Ed- 
ward Hoffman, a colleague ai the 
University of California at Los An- 
geles School of Medicine, devel- 
oped the PET (positron emission 
tomography) scan, a device that 
highlights the brain regions work- 
ing hardest during various tasks. 
PET scans do this by measuring 
blood flow in various neural are- 
as, or the rate at which glucose, 

analytical left 

hemisphere of his 

brain when 

listening to music, 

rather than 


right hemisphere. 


the brain's fuel, is metabolized. 
On the scan, the brain's most ac- 
tive regions are lit up like the pro- 
verbial light bulb over the head of 
a cartoon character. 

Besides its usefulness as a clin- 
ical tool, PET is shedding light on 
two great mysteries— thinking and 
learning. PET scans reveal that 
different parts of the brain are in- 
volved in thinking about, perform- 
ing, or learning a task. Prior train- 
ing can exert a direct bearing on 
which brain areas are activated. 
For example, UCLA investigators 
scanned subjects' brains while 
they listened to sequences of mu- 

sical notes. Trained musicians 
used their left hemispheres, mu- 
sically naive people their right 
hemispheres. The two groups, 
Phelps explains, were doing fun- 
damentally different things. The 
nonmusical people just listened, 
while the musicians actively ana- 
lyzed notes and chord changes. 

Different parts of the brain 
come into play as a person be- 
comes more proficient at doing 
something. UCLA neurologist 
John Mazziotta scanned people 
as they performed the most rou- 
tine task imaginable — signing 
their name. He saw very little ac- 
tivity in the motor cortex but no- 
ticed a sizable response in the bas- 
al ganglia, located beneath the cor- 
tex and responsible for inte- 
grating motor activity. When peo- 
ple were asked to write their 
names with their nondominant 
hand, however, cortical — but not 
subcortical — structures lit up. Af- 
ter repeating the awkward task 
many times, the brain transferred 
supervision of the name signing 
from the cortex back to the basa! 
ganglia. This, in essence, is learn- 
ing, Mazziotta theorizes. As we 
master a task, the total brain ar- 
ea we draw on starts to shrink. 
Responsibility for the action, more- 
over, shifts from regions where con- 
scious supervision is required to 
more automatic regions. The 
less automatic structures are 
then free to take on new challeng- 
es, he speculates. 

Richard Haier, a psychologist 
at the University of California at Ir- 
vine, has made similar findings. 
He scanned the brains of volun- 
teers playing the video game Ter- 
n's. After four to eight weeks of 
practice, the players became 
increasingly adept and activity in 
their cortical regions decreased. 
The arrangement of the adepts' 
brain activity is "more energy ef- 
ficient," Haier argues. 

Mazziotta also studied patients 

with Huntington's disease who 
have suffered degeneration in the 
basal ganglia. When they were 
asked to sign their names, the 
scan showed the response con- 
fined to the motor cortex. Unlike 
normal subjects, the Huntington's 
patients totally focused on writing 
their signature. Habitual tasks are 
routinely transferred from the cor- 
tex to deep structures where 
they run largely on their own, 
Mazziotta hypothesizes. "If you In- 
jure these structures the cortex 
will take over, bu! the action is no 
longer automated." 

Children learning to write illus- 
trate this migration of tasks beau- 
tifully. While trying to control a pen- 
cil, they may also move their lips, 
tongue, and feet. Eventually, 
they unconsciously train their mo- 
tor system to eliminate these un- 
necessary movements. The PET 
may be recording this process: In- 
stead of many dim areas flashing 
on and off like Christmas bulbs, 
one focused region of the brain 
lights up like a beacon. 

Phelps's research has con- 
vinced him that we should put 
more emphasis on teaching 
young children. "We've focused 
on higher education," he says, 
"but if you look at PET studies and 
realize that final wiring of the 
brain is being determined be- 
tween two and ten, you see how 
critical early education is." If a per- 
son learns a language at age sev- 
en and another at 17, only the 
first is native. "It's hardwired. You 
can think in that language with- 
out having to translate," Phelps 
says. On the downside, children 
from disadvantaged back- 
grounds may have picked up un- 
desirable traits like cheating and 
stealing early in life. "Their brains 
were formed during the time 
those things were learned," he 
says. "It's no wonder that years 
later we find it so hard to change 
that behavior." DO 

I "LJ! UuZ3 


investment tips for the 1990s and beyond 

Marvin Cetron 

§ investing has never been easy, 
I but the game will get even 
I more complicated between 
now and the year 2000. The go- 
go days of the Eighties are gone. 
In the future, only careful players 
will make out in Wall Street. 

For many of us, low-risk invest- 
ing has always meant mutual 
funds. They are still a good way 
to get the long-term profits of 
stock ownership without the short- 
term headaches, but be careful 
to choose the fund that's right for 
you. Look for funds that special- 
ize in [he growth industries of the 
early twenty-first century. 

The first industry to look at is 
health care. Medicine does $770 
billion worth of business these 
days and will grow rapidly as the 
American population ages. Four 
medical trends could offer Wall 
Street profits: 

• By 2000, nearly all hospitals will 
be taken over by only 20 rich, fast- 
growing conglomerates. 

• A new ambulatory-care clinic 
will open every day at least 
through 1995. By 2000, such clin- 
ics will capture one-fourth of the 
market for primary care. Chain op- 
erator's could be among the most 
profitable businesses to invest in. 

• And generic drugs will replace 
many costly brand-name prod- 
ucts in the 1990s, and by the 
.year 2000, 53 percent of all 
drugs will be generic. Sales will 
soar to $25 billion by 1997. 

Biotechnology should be anoth- 
er fertile field for investment. Al- 
ready the market for bioengi- 
neered medical products totals 
$1 billion annually — this for an in- 
dustry barely ten years old. In the 
1990s, companies will market 
gene-spliced crop plants that can 
tolerate heat, cold, and salt and 
that are much more disease re- 
sistant; bacteria that "eat" crude 
oil spills and toxic waste; and non- 
polluting industrial processes mod- 
eled on the workings of the cell. 

Biotech is still speculative. Steer 
clear of overvalued stocks. 

What do magnetically levitated 
trains, the Aerospace Plane, and 
twenty-first-century microchips 
have in common? They all de- 
pend on advanced materials now 
under development. Among 
these are superconductors, high- 
strength/high-temperature ceram- 
ics, and heat-dissipating, super- 
hard diamond films. Companies 
that bring these products to mar- 
ket will reap enormous profits 
late in the decade. 

It has taken more than 200 
years to pollute this continent; 

cleaning up the mess will take 
less time but far more money. As- 
bestos-removal firms alone will 
take in $65 billion by the end of 
the decade, and antiradon ser- 
vices may do nearly as well. 
Seek out companies that devel- 
op new recycling methods and 
nonpolluting alternatives for haz- 
ardous materials such as PCBs. 
For the very long run, look at 
fusion power. The breakthroughs 
that harness the power of the sun 
now seem only a few years off. To 
speed progress, the U.S., Europe, 
and the Commonwealth oi Inde- 
pendent States (formerly the So- 
viet Union] will set up a joint re- 
search program by 1995. Compa- 

nies will grow rich by selling ev- 
erything form scientific equipment 
to lunch-cart sandwiches. 

Several promising mutual funds 
specialize in European high-tech 
joint ventures. As Europe be- 
comes a single continental econ- 
omy, it will build some of the 
world's most profitable markets. 
Electronics, aerospace, chemi- 
cals, and pharmaceuticals are the 
industries to watch. Stick to West- 
ern Europe, however. 

Finally, think about real estate. 
Then let someone else buy it. The 
tax changes of 1986 halved the 
amount of income that can be shel- 
tered in a home or vacation cot- 
tage. That is one reason real es- 
tate prices have slumped. Anoth- 
er is the down payments banks 
now require for a mortgage. Few 
young people can save that kind 
of money, so there is less demand 
for starter homes. Older families, 
unable to sell their houses, reno- 
vate rather than move. 

The end of the Reagan boom 
has been hard on commercial re- 
al estate prices. It will be two to 
three years before companies 
grow to occupy all the office 
space built in the 1980s. And com- 
puter networks, FAX machines, 
car phones, and satellite data 
transmission have freed business 
from the cities. Today, companies 
are moving to suburbs and "pen- 
turbia," one step farther from ex- 
pensive, crime-ridden, urban cen- 
ters. They may never use those 
big-city offices at all. 

If you have your heart set on 
buying property, look for it in 
small towns. REOs— real estate 
owned by the lender — can still be 
a bargain if you buy in the south 
or southwest, where the economy 
will rebound first and strongest 
once the current recession ends. 
Or find a real-estate investment 
trust (REIT) that has learned this 
lesson and shuns the cities like 
any sensible ex-New Yorker. DO 

The highest of 
businesses will 

But if some- 
one markets, say, 

alloys made 
in space, invest 
in the prod- 
ucts — not the 


r The follow ng descrbt'ons and valuta n 
''the 1992 Great Treasure Hunt correspond 
to the numbered photos on these pages. 
1 )GEO Tracker LSi 4x4 Convertible. inducing spe/ty 
aluminum wheels option. Value; $12,935; 2)Hcnda 
Nighthawk 750 Motorcycle. Value: $4,199; 3)Lead- 
ing Edge Computer package he uding color VGA 
monitor, 100MB hard drive and b_i : lt-ni Send/Receive 
Fax modem. Value: $2,359; 4)Philips CD-I + Discs. 
A whole new way of looking at TV: The Imagination 
Machine (TM). It's CD-lnieraciive instruction and fun. 
Value: $2,300; 5)Crea1ive Labs Multimedia Upgrade 
K'i consists of :he Sound Blaster Pic card, an inter- 
nal CD-ROM drive, 5 CD and 1 3 excilno Ivk iltiired s 
software titles. Value $2, 142: 6)Pioneer CDX-FM 45 
Universal CD Changer and PCC-700 Compact Cellu- 
lar Phone lor the car. The cellular phone weighs on- 
ly 10.1 ounces and the CD player has rrulli-p ay ca- 
pability Value:S2,100; 7)American Airlines round 
trip air fare for two to Paris. Fiance from any J S 
gateway city. Value: 52,000; 8)RCA 35 inch Home 
Theatre TV, with Pix-in-Pix capability, zoom and pan 
feature, and sound Ref-eval System Value; £2.000- 
9)Lifecycie Model 5500R The Recumbent Lifecycle 
Aerobic Trainer makes exercise easier, w :h a semi - 
reclining position thai helps burn more caleriea 
with less exertion. Value:S1 .995; 10)Sansui Mini Ste- 
reo. Full-featured mini component surround sound 
A/V shelf system, which includes three Karaoke 
modes, allowing users to replace the vocal on their 
favorite music and sing along. Value: S i .699; 
11JNEC CD Gallery A complete CD-ROM system 
that adds exciting new capabilities to a PC or Macin- 
tosh. Display pictures and illustrations, listen to 
live audio and experi- 
ence motion graphics. 
Includes 7 popular inter- 
active CD-ROM soft- 
ware programs. Value: 
S1 ,500; 12)Schwinn Para- 
mount Series 70 bicy- 
cle, with Tange Ultra-Li- 
te 38mm rake fork for 
smoother, more stable 
handling on any terrain. 

Value: £1.274; 13)(2) Konica Aiborg 35mm Camer- 
as. A his and hers pair, featuring the world's first mov- 
ing frame auto focusine system, plus 30 'Olisoi Koni- 
ca Super SR Color Print Film Total Value: $1,182; 
14)(2)CITIZEN PN-48 Notebook Printers the 
world's smallesl laser-quality printer at 2lbs T and 
packed with accessories such as a NiCad battery, 
AC adapter/charger and carrying case. The perfect 
tool for the portable computer' user. Total Value: 
$1098; 15)Hamilton Deluxe Chronomatic III watch 
($750) with 17 jewel, self-winding mechanical move- 
ment, and a Hamilton Wilshire watch with a slim, 
trim case and unusual hinged lugs th; 
it one of the most comlor.able watches 
designed (S295). Total Value: $1,04.5; 
Fujitsu DEX-80 FAX Machine features an au- 
tomatic cutter, built-in answering mad " 
interface, and a full featured handset. 
Value: $999. 

The 1992 Groat Trcasu'O I lunt is on. and it's easy 
to enter. When you find the solution, simply mail it 
to the address shown below, or usina a touchtcne 
phone, call 1 -900-884-HUNT ($1 .50 for the first 
minute, $1 .00 for each additional minute). Your 
solution will be recorded automatically. Here's how 
to find the correct answer: 

Each of the dozen picture discs displayed inside 
the perimeter ol the diamond shown on this page 
is a portion of a photo or illustration in an ad in this 
issue. To solve the "Treasure Hunt"., find the ads 
frcrr which d-sc.s ■.■vers taken, a id 'Git: Ihe page num- 
ber for each. If an ad appears on the inside or out- 
side of the front or back cover, count that page num- 
ber as zero. If there is no page number, turn to the 
next numbered page, and use that page number, 
if there is no numbered page between the. ad and 
the end of the magazine, stop at the inside bac-s 
cover, and use zero as your page number. Then 
add up ail twelve pace rumbers. "hat s lac sc o 
tion to the "Treasure Hunt" in this issue. 
Good Luck! 

No purchase or phone call required. To 
enter automatically on a touch-tone 
phone from 9:00 A.M. EST on 2/1/ 
92 through midnight EDT 5/31 ' 
92. call 1 -900-884-HUNT 
give your name, address, tele- 
phone number, and the' 
solution to the "Treas- 
ure Hunt" as it ap- 
pears in the Febru- 
ary 1992 issue 
of OMNI 
zine. The 

the first mini 
and $1.00 per 
ute thereafter; average 
call length is estimated to 
be 2-3 minutes. Call-in en- 
trants will receive a S5.00 dis- 
count certificate valid toward thi 
purchase of any two books currently 
available in the COMPUTE Library. 
Charges tor calls to the above numbers 
will appear on your telephone bill. Callers 
must be 18 or older or have a parent's or guard- 
ian's permission to p:acc the call. Call as often 
as you wish; each call is a separate entry. Call-in 
entry option is void in LA, MN, and where prohibiten. 

Alternate Entry Method: You may also enter by 
printing your name, address, phone number, and 
'no solution to ;ne "Treasure Hun: "as t appears i.n re:> 
ruary 1992 issue of OMNI Magazine on a 3" X 5" 
piece c ! oacor. mail vou'ontiy to: 'Treasure Hunt", Box 
567, Gibbstown, NJ 08027. All entries must be re- 
ceived by 5/31/92. Enter as often as you wish; each 
entry must be mailed separately. 

You may request the solution and complete Official 
Rules by sending a self- ad dressed stamped envelope 
to "Treasure Hunt" Solution, Box 728, Gibbstown, NJ 
08027 by 4/30/92; no return postage required for resi- 
dents of VT and WA. 

The 1992 "Treasure Hunt" is sponsored icinily by 
OMW/Magazre arc COMPUTE Iv'aoazine, 1965 
Broadway, New York, NY : 0023. i2 ' 2)496-61.00. Win- 
ners will bo selected by 6/30/92 in random draw- 
ings irom all qualifying entries received'. Drawings 

ey row 








will be conducted by POWER GROUP, INC, an in- 
dependent judging c;gar./a r .ion whose decisions 
are final. Odds determined oy number of entries re- 
ceived. Major prize winner will be required to exe- 
cute and return an affidavit of ol g'bility and release 
within 21 days of da;c on nolr'icanon le:te". ...im : one 
winner per household. Open only to U.S. residents 
c:xoopt employees and their \-.ni its of OMNI Publica- 
l.ons inte-nationa., Lto. COMPUTE Publishing, Ltd., 
POWER GROUP, INC., their respective subsidiaries 
c'ri laics and advert she age-cies Total prize val- 
ue, 146.827. Prizes are not transferable or redeem- 
able for cash, No substitution of prizes except as 
■i ■■ :■■ . i.- .■ i ii .i ■ !■ lv i y ■ :■!■!■■■■ v,i oe award- 
ed to winner's parent or guardian if the winner is un- 
der 21. Taxes, licensing, frarsportaaor registration, 
and dealer charges aie wnnor's 'osixmoify " ne I : sr- 
is trip must be from the airport neares" :he ■.■-■.- :rr-Gi s 
home serviced by American Air res and must be 
completed oy 2/23/93 Otne- (rave restrictions may 
apply. For names of major prize winners, send 
a self-addressed stamped envelope to: 
'Treasure Hunt" Winners, Box 813, Gibb- 
stown, NJ .08027 by 6/30/92. 
GIFT FINDER'S GUIDE: For. infdrma- 
the products and services 
Ihe Great Treasure Hunt, con- 
ict these companies: Amer- 
Airlines, 4333 Amon 
Carter Blvd., Mail Drop 
75, Fort Worth. TX 
76T55; American 
Honda Motorcy- 






ce; CA 
90501-2746; Citi- 
zen America Corpo- 
ration, 2450 Broad- 
way, Suite 600, Santa 
Monica, CA90404-1003, 1- 
800-4-PRINTERS; Fujitsu Imag- 
ing Systems. 36 Apple Ridge 
Rd., Danbury, CT 068.10, 1-800- 
243-7046; GEO. See you: oca. Cnev 
rolet/GEO dealer for more information. 
Hamilton Watch. 94- WheaLand Ave., Lan- 
caster, PA. 17604, 1-860 234-31(33: Konica 
440'Sylvan Ave., Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632; 
Leading Edge Products, 117 Flanders Rd., West- 
bcough. MA 01531, " -300-874-3340: Life FmesE 
960- Je-onimo Rd., Irving, CA 92718, 1-800-735- 
3867; NEC Technologies Inc., 1255 Michael Dr., 
Wood Dale, IL 60191: Phi: os Consumer Electronics 
Company, One' Philips- Dr., Knoxville, TN 37914, 1- 
300-223-7772; Pioneer Electronics. 2265 ilasi 220:h 
St., Long Beach, CA 90810, 1-800-421-1.603; RCA 
Co-ooration, 600 N. Sherman Dr., Indianapolis. IN 
-16201; Sansui Electron cs Corporation, 1290 Wall 
St. W.,Lyndhurst, NJ07071; Schwinn Bicycle Com- 
pany, 217 N. Jefferson. Chicago, IL 60661-1111; Cre- 
ative Labs, inc.. 2056 Djgne Ave. Santa Clara, CA 
95054, 408-986-1461. CONTRIBUTORS TO THE 
b j-:g Software. '■■ -800-52 I -6263; Davidson & Asso- 

455-1454; HSCSotTWii-e. 3-0-392-84^1: OOM Simu- 
lations, 1-800-377- GOV!; Ir:erplay Productions, 1- 
800-9133- GAME. One; ,. 1-30C-999 ■■1939; Passport 
Design, 1-800-443-3210. DO 



Columbus' story pales beside the 'exploits of Spain's conquistadors 

By Sandy Fritz 

Forget the upcom- 
ing Columbus 
movies. Let's see 
films about 
the really exciting 
explorers, like 
Corlez and Cabeza 
de Vaca. 

Flipping though the TV 
channels the other night, 
I alighted on a Columbus 
special. "Another one?" groaned 
my wife. I informed her to expect 
even more coverage of Colum- 
bus and his voyage and that 
both Timothy Dalton and Gerard 
Depardieu will star in feature- 
length Columbus movies. I added, 
"Hollywood has missed the boat. 
Tons of conquistadors followed 
Columbus, and their stories 
would make far better movies." 

It's true, and eyewitness ac- 
counts exist that can prove it. 
Columbus' tale, in his own words 
(The Log of Christopher Colum- 

bus, Robert Fuson, translator, In- 
ternational Marine Publishing, 
1987; $22.95), is mildly engaging 
but lackluster. If Hollywood want- 
ed meaty movies, why didn't 
they read The Conquest of New 
Spain (J.M. Cohen, translator, 
Penguin Classics, 1963; $5.95) 
written by Bernal Diaz, the last 
surviving member of the Cortez 

SYNOPSIS: The dregs of Cuba, 
led by a stumpy horseman 
named Cortez, invade Mexico 

and destroy one of the most re- 
splendent cultures that ever flow- 
ered in the New World. 
beautiful, mysterious Indian prin- 
cess who sides with the Spanish 
and guides them to Mexico (yes, 
she sleeps with Cortez); blood- 
stained priests and human sacri- 
fice; and inevitably, the heart- 
wrenching death ot Montezuma 
at the hands of his own people. 
az describes Montezuma smok- 
ing what appears to be reefer and 
chugging something similar to a 
chocolate milkshake before head- 
ing into his harem for the night. 

Lost expeditions always fire the 
imagination of moviegoers, and 
one right out of history that 
would make a first-rate Hollywood 
epic is The Journey of Alvar 
Nunez Cabeza de Vaca (F. Ban- 
delier, translator, AMS Press, 
1973; $33). 

SYNOPSIS: A blundering gener- 
al leads 600 men into Florida; all 
but four perish. They are en- 
slaved and finally escape, after 
six years in captivity, walking 
from Georgia.to Mexico City, 
starving men reduced to cannibal- 
ism; faith healing by Cabeza de 
Vaca and his companions; and fi- 
nally, a miracle trek that leaves 
peace in its wake. 
Cabeza de Vaca performs heart 
surgery with a flint knife — and the 
patient survives'. 

Of course, not every Spanish 
expedition ended up as notorious 
as Cortez's or as lost as Cabeza 
de Vaca's. One famous failure 
that would translate well onto the 
silver screen is The Journey of 
Coronado (George Parker Win- 
ship, translator, Fulcrum Publish- 
ing, 1990; $27.95). 
SYNOPSIS: An idealistic Coro- 
nado marches with 600 men into 
Arizona to find the fabled Seven 

Cities of Cibola. They find instead 
a cluster of seven shanty towns. 
After scouring present-day New 
Mexico, Arizona, Kansas, eastern 
Colorado, southern Nebraska, 
Nevada, and parts of Southern 
California for two years, the army 
returns home empty-handed. 
nado is almost killed in a fall 
from his steed, his rear guard is 
destroyed, his army is on the 
verge ot mutiny, and he must bat- 
tle his way home though hostile 
territory. When he arrives in Mex- 
ico City, he is publicly scorned. 
Coronado's conquistadors "discov- 
ering" the Grand Canyon. 

Madmen make excellent mov- 
ie characters. One Spanish adven- 
turer who amply fills that bill; Her- 
nado de Soto. His tale, too long 
out of print, ( The Discovery of Flor- 
ida), ranks among the most chill- 
ing of the bunch. Sinister, and 
newly rich from his exploits in Pe- 
ru, de Soto drives 600 men on a 
three-year, nine-state tour of Amer- 
ica searching for (of course) 
gold. Hollywood essentials in- 
clude mutilation, torture, humans 
being eaten by dogs, starvation, 
rape, and obsession that makes 
Fatal Attraction look mild. The sto- 
ry would probably need a horror 
treatment a la Friday the 13th. 

There are other tales buried 
deep within obscure historical jour- 
nals. Ever hear of a man named 
De Luna who set up a colony in 
Georgia with 1,200 settlers? 
They were reduced to eating 
their shoes. Or Juan Pardo? His 
job was to cut a road from South 
Carolina to Mexico. 

So, while enduring the barrage 
of Columbus hype, consider send- 
ing a copy of this article to pub- 
lic broadcasting stations, major tel- 
evision networks, and Hollywood 
movie houses. Maybe the interest 
in New World exploration will en- 
gender a real movie yet. DQ 



Nanosecond politics might make government run faster— but better? 

By Tom Dworetzky 

For years politics took 
place mosily behind 
closed doors. Maybe it 
was better that way. The busi- 
ness of governing can make 
even the strongest citizen quea- 
sy, furious, and sad. After watch- 
ing, yet another extravaganza- 
gate on TV, I started to think that 
maybe Groucho Marx had a pret- 
ty good point when he once not- 
ed that, "Politics is the art of look- 
ing for trouble, finding it every- 
where, diagnosing it incorrectly 
and applying the wrong remedy." 

With the technology now in 
place — I began to wonder if 
there might not be a better way. 
Couldn't we just throw the bums 
out, return to a kinder and gen- 
tler time, hold electronic town 
meetings, and vote on matters our- 
selves? To take the late French 
General Charles DeGaulle's as- 
tute observation, quite possibly 
in a way he didn't mean, maybe 
"Politics is too serious to be left 
to the politicians." 

Throwing the bums out is tempt- 
ing. After all, everyone wants the 
thrill and gratification of seeing 
his or her vote immediately have 
an impact. But would that give us 
better government — or worse? 
Some serious implications of 
such a direct form of democracy 
are worth examining. 

Here's one big concern un- 
touched by the urge to wire 
everyone into a plebiscite that 
votes on everything: the so- 
called democratic fallacy. This as- 
sumes that the majority makes 
the right decisions. Numerous ex- 
amples demonstrate the errone- 
ousness of this belief. Scientific 
theories, for instance, that are 
now collecting dust in the ashbin 
of history, were believed by the 
majority — until one person 
proved them wrong. 

Then there's an even bigger is- 
sue: the amount of time it takes 
to govern. Congressmen and sen- 

ators — even the bummiest — 
spend pretty much full time, 
along with legions of staff per- 
sons, trying to sort through the var- 
ious issues, facts, and studies 
just to reach the wrong decisions. 
There's no reason to think any 
one of us, with less time to 
spare, is going to do much bet- 
ter. Politics is all about compro- 
mise, and really bizarre ones at 
that. If you vote yes on this corn- 
growers subsidy, then I'll vote yes 
on your handgun legislation. How 
could polls ever cut the deals the 
pols put together? Sure some are 
loony, but many are the only way 
to reach agreements between wild- 
ly differing points of view. 

More to the point, most citizens 
monitor politics and world evenis 
the way they pay attention to a 
ball game on TV in the next 
room. It's in the background until 
a big play; then heads turn to 
catch the replay. Well, picking the 
replays in politics is the business 
of a small, dedicated, news-junk- 
ie elite — some elected and some 
Self-appointed, like me. Focusing 
public attention on — and fram- 
ing—the issues has to do with the 
way people vote and respond to 
polls. An instant, electronic gov- 
ernment would probably be even 
more susceptible to information 
manipulation than our present, 
slower representative form. 

But we can't turn back the 
clock. The burgeoning technol- 
ogy of communications is here to 
stay and will prove a powerful 
force in national and global poli- 
tics whether we like it or not. 

So what role might technology 
play? One function could be to 
provide citizens with more in- 
depth information on subjects of 
interest to them personally 
through interactive electronic 
newspapers, databases, and 
news shows. Interaction, judicious- 
ly incorporated into the public vot- 
ing system, .might also be used 

to ease the logistical problems as- 
sociated with turning over deci- 
sion-making on major issues di- 
rectly to the voters. 

The one thing, however, that all 
this instant communication and 
feedback won't do is make the all- 
important ingredients for good gov- 
ernment — reflection and judg- 
ment — more plentiful. These attrib- 
utes among the citizenry and its 
representatives — always in short 
supply — will remain unaffected 
by the power of fiber optics and 
computers and television, Tech- 
nology will only make democra- 
cy function faster — not better. Bet- 
ter will remain the province. of hu- 
mans, struggling to make the 
right choice in the maelstrom of 
spin doctors, tub thumpers, 
iaxmongers, pollsters, quotemeis- 
ters, and — oh yes — pundits of the 
Fourth Estate. DO 

What will 
happen to the 
form of govem- 

follow our urge to 
wire everybody 
electronically into 
the plebiscite? 


Frozen immortality may be worth the price 

By Charles Piatt 

Charles Piatt, 
author of The Sili- 
con Man, and 
one of our finest 
SF writers, 
puts his money 
his speculative 
mouth is. 

o far, 


United States, 
perhaps one per- 
son in a million has made 
financial arrangements to 
be frozen after death. 
And I am one of those peo- 
ple — a crackpot or a vi- 
sionary, depending on 
your point of view, I havB 
contracted io store my re- 
mains in liquid nitrogen. 
Two or three centuries in 
the future, when medical 
science is sufficiently .ad- 
vanced, I hope to. be 
brought back to life. 

i seem to be the first sci- 
ence or science-fiction au- 
thor to have taken this 
step, Visionary? Crack- 
pot? That's a question I'm 
still trying to answer. 

I wasn'l especially interested in 
cryonics before I visited Alcor, a 
cryonics organization near River- 
side, California, in 1987. I went 
there as a journalist and a skep- 
tic, but the totally dedicated, high- 
ly qualified staff turned out to be 
the most intelligent, resourceful, 
determined group I had ever met, 
and they patiently eroded my skep- 
ticism with facts, For example: 

• Human tissue, suitably pre- 
pared, can be frozen with negli- 
gible damage. 

•The fledgling science of nano- 
technology offers rational hope 
for repairing some biological dam- 
age that is currently considered 

• Small human embryos have al- 
ready been frozen to the temper- 
ature of liquid nitrogen and suc- 
cessfully revived. 

Cryonics isn't cheap, and Al- 
cor's. current minimum fee of 
$41,000 is out of reach for most 
of us. The fee can be covered by 
a life-insurance policy that 
makes Alcor the beneficiary. To 
me, this money wasn't trivial. But 
facing my own mortality turned 

out to be much harder than com- 
ing up with the cash to pay §450 
a year for the life-insurance pre- 
miums and the annual Alcor mem- 
bership fee. 

I always used to tell people 
that I had no illusions about 
death, and I accepted the finality 
of it. Yet it took me almost three 
years to overcome my psycholog- 
ical resistance to cryonics. Even 
after I had written a will and ob- 
tained life insurance, Alcor's legal 
documents languished on my 
desk for many months, I avoided 
signing them in the same way 
that I might turn away from the 
sight of an ugly accident, I imag- 
ined myself dead, dunked in a vat- 
of liquid nitrogen, It was too viv- 
id, too personal, too real. 

Many people seem to go 
through this pattern of initial inter- 
est in cryonics, followed by reluc- 
tance to pursue it. My friends, for 
instance, were full of eager ques- 
tions — until ! started giving them 
specific, practical answers. Being 
turned into a Popsicle was fine for 
theoretical debate — or sick 
■ jokes. As an everyday reality, how- 
ever, it was too disturbing. 

Even if the procedure 
actually worked, there 

were still many worrisome 
unknowns. Resuscitation 
might be a-horribly pain- 
ful process. Brain dam- 
age could occur, I might 
feel intolerably alienated 
in an advanced future so- 
ciety, or the society 
might shun me as a mis- 
fit from a primitive past. 

Cryonics is the ultimate 
gesture of defiance. Even 
if it offers only one 
chance in ahundred thou- 
sand, that chance is 
worth taking. Death is in- 
tolerable, and I am seiz- 
ing the only available op- 
portunity to transcend it, 
■ My ID bracelet is now 
engraved with instructions for 
medical personnel in the event of 
a serious accident. Alcor is on 
call 24 hours a day, and I have 
no doubt that if I end up in a hos- 
pital bed with declining vital 
signs, they'll be ready to protect 
my biological remains. 

Visionary? Crackpot? I can't an- 
swer that question because I 
don't think it's currently answera- 
ble. Gene splicing and molecu- 
lar manipulation via scanning tun- 
neling electron microscopes 
would have seemed impossible a 
century ago. We simply cannot 
predict the technical advances 
that may be made in centuries 
to come. 

The bottom line, however, is 
simple. If I am buried or cremat- 
ed in traditional fashion, my mind 
and body will be destroyed. That 
is absolutely certain. By contrast, 
being frozen offers some chance 
that I may be preserved and re- 
stored in the far future. Even if 
that chance is vanishingly small, 
it's better than no chance at all. 
To obtain more detailed infor- 
mation on cryonics, call Alcor at 
(800) 367-2228. OQ 

gammm ntuiiniugMiiiiiwuiiiiaiii m. #""""*#% K| | jjWiwri 

\ if I %t0t \Jf ^hI InJltai 

Luxury-level interactive entertainment 

By Gregg Keizer 

8 ffll 8 nen y° u bLJ ^ lne ver ^ 

I 1 best in entertainment, 
%# %# y 0U 'd better have deep 
pockets. Fun doesn't come cheap, 
not in this electronic universe. 

You can assemble a fantastic 
home entertainment center flush 
with video, arcade and computer 
games, tfyou can pay for the lux- 
ury of leading. (Since I'm paying 
with words here, not dollars, it's 
easy for me to talk about pushing 
the budget envelope — you de- 
cide what's worth buying.) 

For starters, why settle for Nin- 
tendo's Toys R Us price and kid- 
die quality? Why not reach for the 
most expensive game controller 
around— the Neo Geo (SNK 
Home Entertainment), a $650 vid- 
eogame box that connects to 
your TV. Neo Geo throws twice as 
many colors on the screen as the 

Gamestyles of 

the rich and 

famous! You can 

spend as much 

as you want in the 

new electronic 

playground, and 

you'll get 

what you play for. 

Super Nintendo, features half 
again as many sound channels 
as Sega Genesis, and plays 
games as large as 60 megabytes. 
Add a compact disc drive 
($299) to NEC's TurboGrafx 16 
($100) and you've spent another 
bundle and gotten yourself a 
more flexible game machine, 
Though both Nintendo and Sega 
have CD players in their futures; 
only NEC has one ready now. CD 
titles like Sherlock Holmes Consult- 
ing Detective and J.B. Harold Mur- 
der Club add dimension to your 
home-entertainment experience. 
You can't beat CD games for 
speech, video quality, and audio 

Such extravagance calls for a 
premium video stage. You can 
opt for a behemoth projection set, 
but another route takes you to 
Matsushita's (Panasonic) new 
Prism Superflat TV, The 31-inch 
Prism retails for $1,800 and fea- 
tures a high-contrast screen 
that's flatter at the edges than typ- 
ical screens. 

NEC's TurboExpress ($300) is 
the most expensive, and the 
best, hand-held videogame ma- 
chine, Or you can blow several 
months' pay and take home a 
state-of-the-future commercial ar- 
cade game, Sega's Time Travel- 
er. This $6,000 machine's claims 
to fame are its pseudo holograph- 
ic graphics, built-in laser disc, 
and stereo sound. Instead of mov- 
ing cartoon characters on a flat 
screen, you control tiny actors 
who seem to stand on a small 
stage. You can drop a bundle on 
computer games, too, if you go 
for broke on a new PC. Equip a 
80486 machine with lots of 
ory, a huge hard disk drive, a big 
16-inch Super VGA monitor, ster- 
eo sound card, a Tandy CD- 
ROM drive, and a 9600- 
bps modem, and 
you've got a primo 
computer game sys- 
tem. You'll be able 
to fly Wing Command- 
er II, hunt around a mul- 
timedia compact disc 
world for Carmen Sandi- 
ego, and play online 
games whiz-bang fast. 
Price? About $4,500. 
Think of it as a long-term 
investment — it'll be years 
before you outgrow this 
computer's home-enter- 
tainment and educa- 
tional possibilities. The 
dream home-entertain- 
ment system carries a mythi- 
cal price tag, if only be- 
cause it doesn't yet exist. A 
rack stacked with pricey har( 

ware— including a high-end, mul- 
timedia PC and a game deck 
that plays cartridges and CDs — 
links with a clutch of online en- 
tertainment networks and con- 
nects to a flat screen hanging on 
the wall. Pull off the bottom third 
of the screen (it's actually sever- 
al smaller screens that combine 
for a theater-sized mosaic), run a 
cable to the game rack, and 
you've got a table-sized electron- 
ic game, board. A finger touch 
picks up computerized game piec- 
es; another puts them down. 
You'll play monster Monopoly, re- 
create military campaigns, direct 
sporting events from a Goodyear 
blimp vantage point, and cavort 
with your kids in a game of ani- 
mated' Chutes and Ladders. 
Damn the 1 cost and you guaran- 
tee your spot in front of this literal 
window into the electronic uni- 
verse. The rest of us? We'll be 
right behind you. — Gregg Keizer 

30 OMNI 



Did the Great Law of Peace, the constitution of the Iroquois nation, 

help shape democracy and federalism? 

How do you trace the his- 
tory of an idea? Before 
Charles Darwin published 
On The Origin of Species, 
another naturalist, Alfred 
Russel Wallace, wrote an es- 
say that, according io Dar- 
win, "coniained exactly the 
same theory as mine." Dar- 
win, of course, got the cred- 
it. History is filled with simi- 
lar cases of limited or inaccu- 
rate attribution. If the idea 
is noble or marks some 
great event, everyone 
wants the credit, and the ar- 
guments begin. A case in 
point: the U. S. Constitution. 

Textbooks have long at- 
tributed the ideas of the Con- 
stitution to Thomas Jeffer- 
son, Ben Franklin, and oth- 
er famous colonial thinkers. 
But several anthropologists 
and researchers say our 
founding fathers included a 
number of Native Ameri- 
cans. To Jefferson, as well 

as Franklin, the Indians, particularly the League of the Iro- 
quois, had what the colonists wanted; "societies free of 
oppression and class st'at'icatio'V' explains Bruce E. Johan- 
sen in his book, Forgotten Founders: How the American 
indian Helped Shape Democracy. They also had a con- 
stitution dating back centuries that embraced the basic 
ideas of democracy and federalism. Called the Great Law 
of Peace, the Iroquois constitution gave equal voice to 
each of the five tribes that were members of the league. 
It guaranteed freedom of -political and religious expres- 
sion and set up a mechanism for impeachment of top lead- 
ers. If the tribes decided that the Great Law should be 
changed, they could do .so through an amendment pro- 
cess. Unlike European political systems, the Iroquois ex- 
tended political rights to women, who were primarily re- 
sponsible for electing and impeaching the nation's lead- 
ers. And unlike the democracies of ancient Greece, in the 
Iroquois nation, slavery did not exist. 

A number of colonial leaders who devised the United 
States government met with Indian leaders and wrote 
about the political processes they witnessed. Franklin in 

par: ctar saw the Iroquois 
system as a model on 
which to base the Union. Brit- 
ish spies were aware of the 
colonial interest in Native 
American ideas of freedom 
and government and report- 
ed it to their home offices, 
The British throne blamed 
the Indians for the growing 
unrest in the colonies. 

If Native Americans 
played a role in the found- 
ing of this country, why ha- 
ven't most of us heard 
about it? There is no simple 
answer, Some anthropolo- 
gists and historians are con- 
vinced that the framers of 
the Constitution borrowed 
ideas from the Iroquois; oth- 
ers argue that there is not 
enough textual evidence to 
confirm that theory. 

Documented evidence 
or not, Congress has 
passed a resolution acknowl- 
edging the contribution of 
the Iroquois and other tribes on the formation of the Con- 
stitution. Bui perhaps more important than the business 
of tracing the source for the ideas behind the Constitution 
are the reasons why most Americans know about the Mag- 
na Carta but nothing about the Great Law of Peace. An- 
thropologist Jack Weaiher'ord, who discusses this in his 
book Indian Givers: How the Indians of the Americas Trans- 
formed the World, suggests that our historical amnesia 
has a great deal to do with slavery. "After the U.S. got its 
independence and the Constitution was in place," he ex- 
plains, "southern senators and congressmen immediate- 
ly began dissociating American democracy away from the 
Indians, because the Indians had a system in which 
everyone really was free and there was no slavery." 

The Indian model of democracy was replaced by the 
Greek model, in which slavery was permitted. It was a 
shift in thinking that rationalized the fate of African Amer- 
icans and laid the foundation for the displacement and 
genocide of Native Americans. Perhaps it is time to in- 
clude the Great Law of Peace in American textbooks. 
— Jane Bosveld 



than 80 of the30-minute 

outpatient operations since 

After suffering decades 

1982 without a complaint. ■ 

of potentially dangerous- 

Until this year, however, 

penis. enis'geT.c-ni c in- 

Samitier didn't charge for 

micks, dissatisfied .men can 

the operation. 

finally do something about 

"Who am 1 to decide if a 

their shortcomings., thanks. 

patient's penis is large 

to\a revolutionary lipotrans- 

enough?" Samitier says. 

plant procedure that ..can 

"This procedure dramatical- 

instantly double the -girth of 

ly improves self-esteem." 

the male member, 

The procedure involves 

Miami cosmetic surgeon 

removing about 100 cubic 

Ricardo Samitier developed 

centimeters of subcutane- 

the technique,' called cir- 

ous fat from the patient's 

cumferential autologous 

abdomen and then Inject- 

penile engorge- j^^ 

ing it beheath the skin 

men! He: says /®^B 

around the penis. The- 

he's per- /iM'^^ 

surgeon molds: the. fat into a 

formed ,$j^KzQ^k ' 

uniform shape. Intercourse. 

rf^j^r/ ^B 

can resume in about two- 

weeks, and complete 

■■ t l^A ' jfl 

healing takes two: months. 

"Some patients have 


requested ridges and 

valleys," Samitier adds. 

.-•3H ^B 

"Just about any shape they 

...vijH^^^H ^B 

want, 1 can give them." 

"This is a procedure 1 

would. condemn because 

the risks far outweigh the 

potential benefits," says 

Richard Sadove, associate 

proiessor of surgery at the 

University of Kentucky at 

1 ! 

Lex'ngton and a board- 

ri , *& r W^m 

csrti-ied member of the 

>bW '^^K 

American Society of Plastic 

and Reconstructive Sur- 

geons, "'I would- remain. 

5<<sp7ical of this- technique' -1 

j'Hii D-. Samitier publishes 

his" long-term results- in a 

i^H ^^K 

reputable scientific journal. ' 


"If everybody thought 

Vt^l ' ^^H 

that way, there'd be no 

progress in medicine," 

Samitier responds. 

— Don vaughan 

Arrodi .','".' .Vti .'.. 

noetic surgeon seal pis oer.-ises 

Brushing regularly nvgin keep !ne dentist away but n 
you're sensitive to ceiiair; ariifiaai fiavprings. 


Your toothbrush could be 
a gun pointed at your 
bronchial tubes. The artificial 
flavoring in toothpaste trig- 
gered asthma attacks — a 
narrowing of the airways — in 
a patient under the treatment 
of two physicians at Kaiser 
Permanente Medical Center 
in Santa Clara, California. 

The woman came to Bruce 
Spurlock and Thomas Dailey 
complaining of persistent 
wheezing and coughing. 
Asthma medications gave 
her no relief, However, she 
later reported that her 
syrnp:orns subsided when 
she changed from Crest 
Tartar Control toothpaste to a 
gel-based Crest toothpaste. 

Intrigued, Spurlock and 
Dailey tested the patient's 
lung function before and after 
using the toothpastes. They 
found that she didn't wheeze 
and could breathe much 
better after using the gel than 
after using the paste. 

Because the labels listed 
identical ingredients for the. 

250 TONS OF 

two toothpastes, "we asked 
[Crest manufacturer] Procter 
and Gamble for a complete 
breakdown of both the paste 
and the gel," Spurlock says. 
The gel contained a 
spice-blend flavoring while 
the case was flavored with 
either spice-mini or winter- 
green, implicating the latter. 

It turned out that the 
oaiieni had similar difficulty 
ofca:h : ng after chewing 
■■.■v nergreen- and peppermint- 
flavored gum. "I guess just 
about anything with artificial 
flavoring could" cause similar 
asthmatic responses, Spur- 
lock says. — Paul McCarthy 

"Biography is a region 
bounded on the north by his- 
tory, on the south by fiction, 
on the east by obituary, 
and on the west by tedium. " 
—Philip Guedalla 



In some circles it's vvrorg 
to make love if you don't 
make babies. Now infertility 
counselor Sue Jennings of 
the Royal London Hospital in 
England has begun asking if 
it's wrong to make babies if 
you don't make love — ever. 

In a recent letter in the 
medical journal The Lancet, 
Jennings speculates that 
some women who are virgins 
and want children through 
artificial insemination may be 
more interested in "sexual 
relations via high technology" 
than in having a baby. 
Jennings presents the case 
of a single 32-year-old 
woman who came to her for 
counseling. The woman had 
never had intercourse and 
never intended to, but she 
still wanted to have a child 
and considered the associat- 
ed scientific procedures 
preferable to sexual relations. 


Although Jennings has 
only seen five such women, 
her letter provoked a spate of 
articles in the London press 
and led to the first 
International Symposium on 
the Virgin Birth Syndrome. 

Infertility counselor Mi- 
chael Humphrey, a psychol- 
ogist affiliated with the 
University of London, ques- 
tions Jennings's high-tech 
sex hypothesis. "Who would 
want to have an affair with a 
syringe?" he asks. 

—Paul McCarthy 

"A film is a petrified fountain 
of thought. " 

— Jean Cocteau 


When medical pioneers 
Albert Schweitzer and Eu- 
gene Jamot began their work 
in darkest Africa, they 
realized the strongest medi- 
cine in a physician's bag was 
early detection of disease. 
But trypanosomiasis, com- 
monly called' African sleep- 
ing sickness, eluded efficient 
diagnosis for 70 years, 
largely because the trypano- 
some parasite is hard to 
detect with any certainty 
Now a scientist at a 
Canadian university has 
developed a test that detects 
the presence of the parasites 

PRiiZI &H GH. 


Oil spills .are notoriously 
difficult to clean up, as we 
all know. Many a complex 

and exotic solution has 
been proposed. Part of the 
problem stems from the 
fact that oil is. a liquid and 
thus hard to contain when 
spilled in the ocean. But- a 
scientist at the Langley 
Research Center in Virginia, 
which is affiliated with 
NASA, may have developed 
a quick and easy way to 
remove an oil slick: Spray 
the oil with liquid nitrogen 
to freeze it into granules, 
and then haul it away. 

Liquid nitrogen, which 
exists as a temperature of 
-32QT, could also be used 
to freeze chemical waste 
and floating garbage while 
doing little damage to 
vulnerable marine life, 

according to aerospace 
engineer Daniel B. Snow, 
who came up with the 
as-yet- untested idea. Snow 
envisions specially design- 
ed vessels spraying the 
liquid nitrogen- upward from 
just below the water's 
surface. Thus, only the top 
of the water, where the oil or 
waste floats, would freeze. 
Solidifying the toxins in this 
manner would stop the 
endless drifting of poisons 
to other areas. 

What happens to the 
frozen granules of oil? "You 
can dump them into an 
old barge, pump the water 
out, and ship the oil back to 
the refinery," Snow says. 
— Andrew M. Thorpe 

with 96 percent 

Transmitted by 
the tsetse fly, try- 
panosomiasis in- 
fects 50,000 people 
annually with a 
progressive fatigue that 
eventually leads to coma and 
death if untreated. The test 
devised by Margaret Liu, 
studying under Terry Pear- 
son at the University of 
Victoria in British Columbia, 
ferrets out the parasites 
as early as two days after 
infection, "We test for the 
parasite's antigen rather than 
for antibodies which are 
already a secondary reac- 
tion," Liu explains. Antigens 
trigger antibodies to com- 
bat disease. A crucial turning 
point occurred when the 
researchers developed a test 
■ that detects the trypan- 
osome antigen inside the 
tsetse fly. 

Pearson and Liu foresee 
two changes to the test 
before it can be widely 
administered. Switching from 
blood to urine sampling 
will make the procedure 
easier to use. In addition, 
adding a color dipstick 
system will lower the unit cost 
below 25 cents, making it 
feasible for mass distribution. 
If all goes well, the World 
Health Organization will fund 
the administration of the 
new test throughout Africa. 
— George Schmidt 



Hcivcian: to scsy your oet? An u live vaccine 

could be easier and ci-e-ipe-' i vniie suit preventing unwanted births. 


When the city of Syracuse, 
New York, was recently 
overrun with hordes of stray 
cats, a small biotech 
company in Houston could 
hardly be blamed if \i g'eeied 
the news with glee. That's 
because Zonagen has come 
up with a product that would 
have sold briskly in upstate 
New York — a permanent, 
patented contraceptive vac- 

cine for female housepets. 

The Texas company suc- 
cessfully tested the protein- 
based product on rabbits in 
s-i..d:es at Baylor University, 
in which nary a rabbit 
became pregnant, acceding 
to company president David 

Baylor cell biologist Bon- 
nie Dunbar derived the vac- 
cine from a protein in the 
shell-like coating surrounding 
the eggs in female pigs' 
reproductive systems. The 

wime sub.-r.arce akeady 
exists in cats, dogs, and 
rabbits, so when it's injected 
into them, their immune 
system; pe'eeive .t as an 
enemy and attack it, dam- 
aging their own eggs as well. 
"We're tricking the immune 
system and driving the 
females into premature 
menopause, in effect," McWil- 
liams says. The vaccine, 
which still needs some three 
years of tests, could one day 
become an alternative to 
su'gica; sleriliza;ions, more 
than 12 million of which are 
performed yearly worldwide 
at a cost of over a billion 
dollars. Although the vaccine 
may initially require periodic 
booster shots, it will probably 
cost about half as much as 
surgery. — George Nobbe 


Preachers no longer need 
wrack their brains for a 
Sabbath sermon, thanks to 
Reverend John Sharp of 
Bahimore, Ivlarylard. He's 

started Sermonshop, a 
computer network that offers 
sermons on everything from 
Satan to sainthood, as well as 
a forum for pulpiteers in a 
pickle to consult their 
brethren on-line. Already, 
several hundred clergy from 
14 denominations have 
signed on at $9 a month. 

"We're getting from 40 to 
150. people each week — 
Caholic p" ests. P'osoytoi' ian 
ministers, Jewish rabbis — 
who're posting their notes 
and drafts, and sending 
commentary back and forth," 
says Sharp. 

The network makes it 
simple for preachers, espe- 
c:a y those in isolated areas, 
to find advice on new ways to 
address tough issues, like 
how to explain contradictions 
between the Christian and 
Jewish faiths. 

And how do parishioners 
feel about this high-tech use 
of col'ection-plate money? 
"They love it," Sharp says. 
"They're hearing fresh sto- 
ries." — Mark Fischetti 

Wine lovers and grape- 
juice far.s with discerning-' 
caries may nrd something 
■:'iss :; ng in 1991 vintages:- 
residual toxins from pesti- ■■ 
cides. Scienists at Corny;; 
Jniversity have developed a 
new technique/that promises 
to control grape-berry 
moths,- the most common 
insect-pest in Eastern 
vineyards, as effectively as 
chemical i-uf;ec!.cides. Intro- 
duced last spring, the. new 
method doesn't harm wild- 
life. Instead, it simply 
discourages the mothsby 

using pherornones, the 
natural sex attractant of the 

' female math. 

Normally, female moths 
release- tiny amounts of 

: pheromone creating a ha--: 
iha; ™aes follow ;o Ins 
femsies : n orce' to male. "- 
Vineyard workers distribute 
nundreds ci dispensers full 
of the Corned scientists' 
synthesized version of ;ro 
pheromone turoughou- the 
area^, contini.aiy olsnkeiing 
the' vineyard with-the. 
chsiTiical. The multidirection- 
al cloud of pheromone 
confuses male moths, so 
they Can't orient toward 

females. The insects- fail to 
mate and thus produce no- 
grape-eating larvae. 

"It's an cnvifonmerially 
safe- form of insect bihh 
control." say;- Woroe;: L. 
Roelofs. the Cornell biologist 
who first identified the 
qraoe-bcpy moil"; onero- 
nione. "The chore more i;-; 
about as tox c as oi : vc o\\." 
The researchers esiima'.o 
l.na: the technique cou ! d 
reduce insecticide use in 
'■-lev :;■■/ half, 

preventing 50 tons of toxic 
one-micals a year ; rom being 

■ ::.'rav :n cooes 

—Ann Jane Tierney 



A good way to find out 

what's going on inside the 
body is to analyze what 
comes out of it — like sweat. 
Three Minnesota inventors 
took this idea to heart and 
came up with a wristwatch- 
like device to help diabetics 
monitor their blood-sugar 
levels without drawing blood 
for glucose readings. 

"We wanted to figure out a 
way to get inside a person 
without making a hole," says 
Walter L. Sembrowich, a 
former senior scientist at Eli 
Lilly & Company, who 
. developed the idea with 
L Carter R. Anderson and 
^Wiliam R, Kennedy, 
ft They intended to 
% coax human sweat 
■ glands to produce 
\ glucose ieveis thai 
i mirror the sugar's 
^ levels in the 
t blood. Howev- 
i er, sweat 
i glands nor- 
t mally soak 
l cose be- 



Though Gene and I met 
only three or four times, 
we had a warm relationship 
for more- than 20 years. 
Within minutes of hearing 
the Voice of America report 
his death, I faxed the Star 
Trek office: "Few men have 
left a finer legacy. Enterprise 
will be cruising the galaxy 
for centuries to come." 

I am proud to have 
played a part in creating 
one of the great icons of our 
time— as Gene reminded 
my biographer Neil Mc- 
Aleer, when he made an 
extremely generous assess- 
ment of my contribution, Nor 
was- this the first time: In 

1987, he wrote for my 70th 
birthday felicitation volume: 
"Arthur literally made my 
Star Trek idea possible... In 
1969, I traveled to Arizona 
to listen to a Clarke lecture 
on astronomy... and was 
persuaded by him' to 
continue my Star Trek 
projects despite the enter- 
tainment industry labelling ■ 
the production as an 
unbelievable-concept. and a 
failure. ..It was a friendship 
:hat deepened into the most 
sgnificant of my profession- 
al life." I deeply regret that, 
as Gene did not reach his 
own 70th birthday, I never 
had a chance to. recipro- 
cate. There is a sad irony in 
the fact that he entered The 
Undiscovered Country just 
as the movie of that name 
was about to be released. 

At a dark time in human 
history, Star Trek promoted 
the then-unpopular ideals of 
Lolcrence ! o- dr-enng cul- 
tures and respect for life in 
all forms — without preach- 
ing, and always with a 
saving sense of humor. We 
can all rejoice that Gene 
achievco professional suc- 
cess and world respect. 
What must have given him 
even greater satisfaction is ■ 
that he lived to see so many 
of his ideals triumphantly 

— Arthur C. Clarke 

This wris iwa tch-like 
■device measures blood- 
sugar levels. 

fore the sweat passes out of 
the body. The device 
counters this with a skin 
patch that delivers pilocar- 
pine, a sweat-inducing alka- 
loid, and both glucose-6- 
phosphate and fructose-6- 
phosphate, which temporari- 
ly block sugar absorption by 
the sweat glands. 

Treated paper absorbs the 
sweat and changes color to 
reflect the glucose level in 
the sweat. The color 
changes will be meas- 
ured by an optical reader 
hidden inside the wrist 
device io calculate 
precise blood-sugar 
levels. Or they will be 
when Sembrowich 
and his colleagues 
perfect their gadg- 
etry, which will take 
'.at least two years. 
-George Nobbe 


Columbia University math- 
e""-at'cians David and Greg- 
ory Chudnovsky kept their 
desktop supercomputer work- 
ng overtime for more than a 
month last year, computing 
the value of pi (the ratio of a 
circle's circumference to its 
diameter) to 2.16 billion 
decimal points. Apart from 
doubling the previous world 
record of 1 .07 billion decimal 
poirrs se: by the Japanese in 
1989, what's the motivation? 

Mostly, the Chudnovskys 
want to see how their huge 
chain of numbcs ti Iters irom 
a purely random sequence 
or the decimal expansions of 
e, the square root of 2, and 
other infinite series. 

"There are no patterns in 
pi," David explains. "Yet 

:here s.opear to be minor 
deviations from a totally 
random sequence." Unfortu- 
nately, the Chudnovskys may 
need an even larger 
database to confirm this 

If the Chudnovskys come 
up with a statistical test that 
can distinguish the digits of 
pi from the digits of e, the 
mathematics world would be 
"completely amazed," ac- 
cording to Bill Gosper of the 
Symbolics Corporation in 
Mountain View, California, 
who briefly held the pi' record 
in 1985. Although Gosper 
can't imagine an application 
of such a discovery, he 
admits, "If I come back one 
century from now. and 
someone tells me, 'We've got 
a use for the Chudnovsky 
Effect,' I won't be surprised." 
— Sieve Nacis 


bring out y©«r 

You have a headache, 
fever, cramps, and trouble 
concentrating. You think 
you've probably got the flu or 
maybe a nasty hangover. 
Guess again. You could be 
the latest unsuspecting 
victim of one of the world's 
most notorious diseases; 
bubonic plague. 

Although it sounds incred- 
ible, the disease that killed 
almost half of Europe in the 
fourteenth century is alive 
and well. More than 160 
cases of plague have been 

reported in the United States 
in the last ten years, 23 of 
them fatal. Most of the victims 
caught the disease through 
contact with fleas carried by 
wild squirrels in the western 
United States, but animals as 
varied as antelope and 
house cats have carried the 
bubonic plague. 

The disease begins with 
headaches and fever up to a 
week after the initial infection. 
The disease then prog'osses- 
rapidly, inducing vomiting, 
muscle pain, and swelling of 
the lymph nodes. If left 
untreated, it can infect the 
lungs, causing pneumonic 

Electrically heated winter 
underwear sounds like a 
great idea: Using technol- 
ogy to keep you toasiy 
warm in frigid weather. 
Putting that idea into 
practice turns out to be 
more difficult because 
various parts of the body 
react differently to extreme 
cold. For instance, toes and 
hands freeze first. Now that 
problem may have been 
solved by Phoenix Interna- 
tional Corp., located in 
Fargo, North Dakota, where 
temperatures routinely drop 
to -20° F. 

An analog control unit 
■measures resistance jrvthe 
wires that lead to five 
thermal zones in' the torso, 
arms, hands, legs, and feet 
inside what the company 
calls its power Johns, a 
$500 iycra and thermax 
garment ideal for both the 
outdoors and frigid industri- 
al environments. As the 
temperature drops, so does 
the resistance. A micropro- 
cessor calculates the 

temperature inside the suit-: 
from the resistance read-^ 
ings, and the wearer can 
then adjust warmth in the 
feet if the toes are too- cold, .' 
for instance, by turning a 
control knob. 

A 12-volt DC battery 
powers the heating ele- 
ment, and its 10- to 
12-pound weight, while 
suitable for industrial envi- 
ronments, will have to be 
scaled down for hunters, 
farmers, or cross-country 
skiers, says Phoenix presi- 
dent Kevin L. Brekkestran, 
a co-inventor of the 
suit. — George Nobbe 

After wreaking h&v/jc ii: E:ir::p: 000 y- ;''3 sg-. ii:e plsgu-. ! ias ccn 
44 OMNI 

plague, which is highly 
contagious. Antibiotics such 
as tetracycline and strepto- 
mycin have been very 
effective in treating plague, 
but death almost certainly 
results if the disease is not 
treated within two to four 
days after symptoms appear. 

The rarity of plague is in 
itself one of its greatest 
dangers. Both the public and 
the medical community 
remain largely unaware of the 
symptoms and treatment. 
"The disease can be cured if 
treated promptly," says Allan 

Barnes, chief of the Plague 
Section of the Bacterial 
Zoonoses Branch of the 
National Center for Infectious 
Diseases in Fort Collins, 
Colorado. "The important 
thing is to get people to 
recognize the disease and 
get therapy in time." 

—Kevin Self 

'There is only one 

thing that a philosopher can 

be relied on to do, and 

that is to contradict other 
philosophers. " 

—William James 


The light of freedom has spread 
through the Soviet Union over 

the past two years, illuminating 
many formerly 
darkened cor- 
ners. ]\o corner was darker thm. 
the world of repressionist psy- 
chiatry, as practiced— inflicted 
might he a better word— by state doctors. The sub- 
ject of this article, Semyon Glnzman (lower pho 
to) is both a hero of Soviet psychiatry and one of 
its victims. Wis LJjSW^_ ^^j story f s osie of 
horror, faith, ^ !J&JBkJ and triumph. 

By Tom Hworelzkv 

hot even for New Orleans. I walk slow 

i, but my white shirt's plastered to my 

' "ie tie damp around my neck, by the 

ir. The Ukrainian physician who ai 

1 my age — mid-forties. About fivt 

>unds, he's got slightly thinning brown hair ant 

-mindedly uneven sideburr 
I greenish-^ 

:low to talk to him about his memories of the past two decades — 

my recollections radically different than mine, 
the Back in the late seventies, I lived in the Quarter. While I 

ow- drank Hurricanes at Pat O'Brien's and whiled the I " 

the away listening to music and dancing at Tipitina's, „■««.. 

an- former psychiatrist and convicted anti-Soviet agitator, .. 

ive- working in a lumber mill near Siberia and eating maggot- 

and laced food. As for the nights, he passed them trying to sleep 

" ing a yel- while Kalashnikov-toting soldiers 

a handshake at the door and I 

i, speaking quietly in a strong Russian e 

. speaKing out against tne common, abusive use of psy- 
les me chiatry to find sane political dissidents mentally ill, declare 
i in town them "incompetent," and lock them up in hospitals 

labor camps for indefinite pe- 
riods of time. 

They say down here that 
New Orleans is the City that 
Care Forgot. That easy senti- 
ment permeates this town like 
the sweet smell of honeysuck- 
le. But today, it adds a dimen- 
sion of irony to Gluzman's own 
life. Care is something that he 
cannot forget. He paid a heavy 
price for his outspoken oppo- 
sition to the abuse of psychia- 
try in the USSR. After a decade 
of prison and internal exile in Si- 
beria, Gluzman — ordinary doc- 
tor — is free. But even today, 
with the Soviet Union in chaos, 
he is still technically a criminal 
in his homeland. The struggle 
weighs on him. I notice its shad- 
ow cross his face when he re- 
calls the past. 

His story starts even before 
his birth, with the advent of So- 
viet psychiatry itself. Doctors of 
any persuasion can kill you if 
they screw up of course. But 
from the beginning, psychia- 
trists in the Soviet Union could 
do something perversely 
worse: Strip people of their free- 
dom by declaring them mentally 
incompetent. These poor souls 
became wards of the state, living 
in hospitals without hope of trial 
for parole for years — even forever. 

Although it was during Stalin's time 
that systematic abuse of psychiatry was 
truly perfected, the most famous case 
took place more than a century earlier. 
Back in the early Nineteenth Century, 
it seems, one Pyotr Chaadayev had the 
audacity to publish an essay critical of 
Tsar Nicholas I. Bad move: Nicky per- 
sonally declared this veteran of Russia's 
military insane, sentencing Chaadayev 
to a year of "free medical care" and 
house arrest. 

It wasn't until the 1930s, however, 
that Soviet psychiatric abuse took the 
systematic form we know today. The 
key: creation of Special Psychiatric Hos- 
pitals (SPH), the most notorious at the 
Serbski Institute for Forensic Psychia- 
try on Kropotkin Street in Moscow. Es- 
tablished in 1921, the Institute had 
been relatively humane — until the rise 
to power in 1948 of psychiatrist and Par- 
ty member Daniil Romanovich Lunts. Dur- 
ing the course of his 30-year reign, 
Lunts declared more than 1,000 sane 
political prisoners mentally ill. 

There were some, of course, who op- 
posed this, Gluzman's physician par- 
ents among them. "I was seven when 
Stalin died," recalls Gluzman. "For my 
family, it was a secret holiday. Every- 

48 OMNI 

was dead, but my parents stayed 
home. They sat at the table and every 
five minutes would say aloud, 'Why 
now? Why not sooner?' They raised me 
to be a nti totalitarian but warned me to 
keep it a secret. They were afraid. 
They didn't want to show me the road 
to prison." 

They did, however, show him the way 
to medical school. On his second day 
at the Kiev Medical Institute he met a 
professor who changed his life. The 
teacher illuminated the idea of psychi- 
atry for the young Gluzman not as a 
field of clinical study, but as an ethical 
pursuit. "He explained to me that a psy- 
chiatrist must be very ethical because 
often our patlonis -:-jo people with no rel- 
atives, no money, and jobs. We are of- 
ten the only ones who can be of prac- 
tical use to these unhappy souls." 

Gluzman grew disillusioned with his 
chosen profession in 1971 after watch- 
ing a colleague subject a rebellious teen- 
ager to injections of sulfazine, a sulfur- 
and-oil suspension that renders patients 
compliant through soaring fevers and 
excjciating pain. The teenager's sul- 
fazine treatment lasted for three or four 
days, raising his temperature above 
104 degrees. Whenever the tempera- 

ture dropped down to normal, 
the nurse administered anoth- 
er shot. "The scene," says 
Gluzman, "was one of torture." 
Though not yet a dissident, 
Gluzman listened to Voice of 
America and heard reports of 
psychiatric abuses perpetrated 
on sane people who spoke 
against the government. The 
best documented case of 
abuse, he soon discovered, con- 
cerned General Pyotr Grigorievi- 
ch Grigorenko, who had fallen 
afoul of the powers that be by 
arguing for human rights in pub- 
lic and participating in anti- 
Stalinist organizations. Found 
mentally ill, Grigorenko was 
committed for compulsory treat- 
ment in the SPH in Chernyak- 
hovsk in the Kalinigrad region. 
The term of his confinement: 

After a year of research, ac- 
cording to the Geneva Initiative 
on Psychiatry, Gluzman and a 
second , anonymous author col- 
lected findings in an under- 
ground study. But Gluzman's el- 
evation from ordinary doctor to 
official dissident didn't really be- 
gin until a crisp spring day in 
March 1972. A loud banging 
woke him at 6 a.m. in the two- 
room flat he shared with his par- 
ents in Kiev, He answered the door in 
his nightshirt. Half-a-dozen big KGB 
men, well over 200 pounds each, had 
begun work early that day, and they 
were starting with him. 

They methodically searched the apart- 
ment for almost six hours. No matter 
that his mother was in bed recovering 
from a serious heart attack, too ill to be 
moved, they searched the bedclothes 
all around her. They searched the book- 
cases and drawers, the nooks and cran- 
nies, while his father, terrified with mem- 
ories of Stalin's brutal years, and 
Gluzman, numb with resignation, wait- 
ed for the inevitable. With foresight, 
Gluzman had removed all Samisdat— 
forbidden documents, articles, and 
books such as his treasured copy of 
Solzenitzin's Cancer Ward — from the 
apartment. "I had given them to 
friends of friends of friends. I knew that 
my close friends would be watched, may- 
be have their homes searched, too." 

Though the KGB did not yet have the 
Grigorenko document in their posses- 
sion, they took Gluzman down to head- 
quarters. "We have some questions," 
they said. 

Gluzman, dressed in a good suit and 
an overcoat to ward off the morning 
chill, was led to an office where a KGB 


subs sprout an 
array off 
fins, porpoise 
tails, pro- 
pellers that 
back and forth. 

What are these things? 

To the uninitiated, it looks like spacecraft 
from a fifties science fiction flick have invaded 
the Howard Johnson's parking lot in Riviera 
Beach, Florida. There, only a stone's throw from 
the ocean, stands a cluster of bubble-domed ve- 
hicles resembling rocket ships. These alien 
craft, whose flourescent colors can only be safe- 
ly viewed with sunglasses, sprout a bizarre 
range of appendage;/ sriped tins, wings that 
flap, porpoise tails, propellers that sweep back 
and forth, even mechanical frog legs. 

Welcome to the second international subma- 
rine races, a competition that pits intrepid ocean 
sng neers against each other a hostile sea, and 
the limits of the imagination CoTestants must 
sink to the challenge of maneuvering a rnotor- 

e;s submanre of :he - own oesgr twice around 
a 400-meter oval course 20 feet under the ocean. 
The rules require that the craft be operated by 
a pilot and propulsor — usually an endurance ath- 
lete who pedals or turns a crank. To add to the 
challenge, the subs are "wet" — that is, the hulls 
flood with water — so the crew must wage their 
battle under the waves wearing bulky scuba 
gear in quarters often snugger than a coffin. Be- 
yond those requirements, almost anything else 
goes — at least in theory. 

In practice, the vehicles glided, kicked, 
flapped, paddled, wiggled, and, on more than 
one unplanned occasion, barrel-rolled through 
the water. The Indianapolis 500 this is not, Subs 
that achieve speeds greater than four knots, or 
five miles per hour, are hailed as record-break- 

ing fast. Small wonder that this spectator sport 
has inspired comparisons to snaii racing. But 
that didn't stop enthusiasts from cramming into 
a sweltering beach tent last June to watch live 
footage of the underwater spectacle on TV. 

While the event may not have attracted 
speed freaks, it was first-rate entertainment for 
techno-fans, inventors of every ilk, ocean lovers, 
and anyone else with an appreciation for the 
adventurous, the original, and the offbeat. This 
is not so much a race as a testing ground for 
new concepts in underwater-vehicle designs. 

From as far away as Germany and British Co- 
lumbia, some 36 teams flocked to the Florida com- 
petition. They included engineering students 
from such big-name schools as M.I.T., the U.S. 
Naval Academy, and Texas A & M as well as the 

employees of government shipyards and under- 
water technology firms. But not everyone fit that 
profile. Stephen Barton, a freckle-faced high- 
school student from Spring Hill, Florida, built his 
sub in the family's garage after developing the 
idea as a science fair project. And Gary Ma- 
souredis, a dentist undaunted by lack of engi 
neering experience, made Its machine in the wait- 
ing room of his Manhattan office. (Astonished pa- 
tients are purported to have stammered, "What 
the hell is this?") 

The smallest subs managed to compress two 
adult men, air canisters, and control equipment 
into narrow torpedoes just over ten feet long. The 
largest subs were boxy fish shapes and whale 
forms nearly twice that size. The remarkable di- 
versity of inventions also reflected the back- 

(above) design- 
ed by 


a high- 
school kid, and 
one dentist 

By Kathleen 

^HESEA(,f^ Y£r 






Options "ft 

^,f W p p 









grounds — and budgets — of their crea- 
tors. The most high-tech teams sunk up- 
wards of $20,000 into the campaign: 
They used computers and wave tanks 
to test their designs and harnessed ex- 
otic space-age materials for the construc- 
tion of hulls. On Ihe other end of the 
scale were funky, Rube Goldberg con- 
traptions put together on shoestring 
budgets out of junkyard supplies and 
other odds and ends. Dentist Gary Ma- 
souredis, for example, built his hull out 
of a plywood frame across which he 
stre.tched Day-Glow orange T-shirt fab- 
ric coated in fiberglass resin. The Flori- 
da Institute of Technology's black-and- 
white striped Sea Panther on the other 
hand, is a dressed-up sewage pipe. 
And when the team from U.C. Santa 
Barbara ran out of wood for the hull of 
their multifinned Love Missile, they sub- 
stituted with cardboard from boxes con- 
fiscated during a midnighl raid of the 
college coffee shop. "It worked great," 
said team leader Jack Bish, "and the 
price was right." 

This lack of conformity among entries 
was exactly what the judges sought to 
encourage. The competition, organized 
by the H.A. Perry Foundation and Flor- 
ida Atlantic University, offers separate 
S1 ,000 prizes for speed, cost-effective- 
ness, and innovation. But a submarine 
must score high in all three categories 
to win the grand prize— a $5,000 
check for best overall performance. 
(There are 14 other prizes including 
best safety design, $200, and best use 
of composite materials, $2,000.) This nur- 
turing of creative and practical objec- 
tives reflects the foresight of 43-year- 
old Henry "Hap" Perry, the marine en- 
thusiast whose capital and vision 
launched the first human-powered sub- 
marine race three years ago. "The trium- 
virate scoring system ensures that 
there's no restraint on the ideas that 
come down here," says Perry. "It's not 
enough to be the fastest guy around the 
course; ingenuity and an eye for the 
bottom line count just as much toward 
the end score." 

Perry's insistence that the subs be hu- 
man-powered is also intended to spur 
technological progress. Since even the 
strongest Ironman is no match for a mo- 
tor, this handicap forces teams to de- 
velop sleeker hulls, control planes with 
reduced drag, and use other innova- 
tions to enable the sub to push 
through the water with less power. The 
best solutions, Perry says, may ultimate- 
ly find a broad range of applications in 
remote-operated vehicles for use in 
ocean exploration and in the mainte- 
nance of oil platforms. "A few innova- 
tions — namely, techniques for bonding 
new composite materials to metals — 

52 OMNI 

might even be used by the shipping 
and aeronautics industries," he says. 

Perry is not the first person to see ex- 
citing potential in this enterprise. The de- 
velopment of human-powered submers- 
ibles has a long, intriguing history 
which began in ancient Egypt. The 
first modern prototype, however, was 
born of Yankee ingenuity during the. 
American Revolution. In 1775, a Con- 
necticut inventor named David Bushnell 
built a one-man, pear-shaped sub for 
the purpose of launching sneak attacks 
against British warships patrolling New 
York Harbor. Called The Turtle, it was 
made of 6-inch-thick oak strips held to- 
gether with iron bands, with the entire 
vessel coated in tar pitch. A pilot 
perched on a high seat held a rudder 
in one hand while cranking a 12-inch 
screw with fhe other to propel the ves- 
sel through the water. There was 
enough air in the sub for the operator 

4A few innovations may 

find a broad 
range of applications in 


vehicles for use in ocean 


and in the aeronautics 

industry. 9 

to remain submerged for half an hour. 
And to regulate its buoyancy, Bushnell 
designed an ingenious ballast system 
of pumps that blew water out of the 
hull for surfacing. In an emergency, a 
200-pound lead weight could also be 
released from the bottom of the sub to 
increase its buoyancy. 

This improbable underwater sub was 
equipped with 150 pounds of gunpow- 
der, which the operator had the unen- 
viable job of fixing with a time fuse to 
the underside of enemy ships. To Bush- 
nell's credit, his ambitious plan nearly 
succeeded, being foiled at the last mo- 
ment by one small obstacle: A wooden 
screw for attaching the mine could not 
pierce the reinforced iron hull of a Brit- 
ish gunship. 

Of course, submersible designs 
have come a long way since Bushnell's 
pioneering effort. But testing newfan- 
gled ideas in as unforgiving an environ- 
ment as the sea is still far from a pre- 
cise science. For that reason, the Flori- 
da competition made safety a top pri- 
ority. The subs had to pull two buoys 

on the surface, carry spare air bottles 
and regulators, and have quick-release 
hatches for fast escapes. As a further 
precaution, crew members clutch 
"dead-man switches," which automati- 
cally release safety beacons should 
they fall unconscious. 

The task of racing a wet sub in scu- 
ba gear also raised a host of unprece- 
dented design challenges. For exam- 
ple, what is the best position of the pi- 
lot and propulsor for maximum output 
of power? The optimal shape of the 
hull? The fastest propulsion method? 
And is it wiser to stay with tried and prov- 
en technologies or risk everything on a 
wholly new, untested scheme? 

There were almost as many answers 
to these questions as contestants. In 
the most common design, the pilot lay 
belly down in the front while a" propul- 
sor in the rear, facing either the 
seafioor or the surface, pedaled a bi- 
cycle drive train that spun a two-blad- 
ed prop. Others veered from this con- 
vention, placing pilot and propulsor in 
seated upright positions or lying side by 
side. One propulsor had the exhaust- 
ing job of simultaneously cranking 
both hands and feet. 

Even greater permutations were evi- 
dent in propeller designs. Instead of the 
standard fixed prop, MIT's Sea Beaver 
had one ihat served as a rudder by ro- 
tating horizontally and vertically. Other 
teams had two props, which counter- 
rotated to prevent the sub from rolling. 
Inspired by a jet engine, West Virginia 
Universily put its prop inside the hull 
and cut off the nose cone so a stream 
of water would rush through. (The pilot 
gets hit by the inflow jet, though team 
leader Scott Wenger says, it feels 
"tame compared to being in the back 
seal of a convertible.") 

The most adventurous subs aban- 
doned praps altogether. Alternative pro- 
pulsion methods ranged from a paddle 
wheel to a flapping contraption that 
worked like penguin wings. The Spi ' 
of Columbus, from Battelle Memorial In- 
stitute in Columbus, Ohio, even attempt- 
ed to mimic the swimming motion oi 
frogs and other web-footed sea crea- 
tures. As team leader Brad DeRoos ex 
plains, "These animals drag a large sur- 
face area through the water to propel 
themselves forward but then retract the 
limb with as little drag as possible." The 
machine thus inspired uses a push- 
pull linear pedal motion to drive a set 
of flippers about four and a half feet 
through the water. Once fully extend- 
ed, the flippers then snap shut, barely 
rippling the water as they return to the 
starting position. In this way, the whim- 
sical vehicle lurched forward at a pon- 
derous 1.5 knots. 

And then there was the Coelacanth, 
the brainchild of dentist Masouredis. In 
a class of its own, this flamboyant cre- 
ation virtually defies categorization. It is 
named after 3 prehistoric fish, but the 
hull of the Coelacanth looks more like 
a funky two-car train minus the wheels. 
The pilot sits in the front compartment 
behind a Plexiglas windshield. The 
propulsor lies on his stomach in the 
back compartment, engaging in a 
strange form of "aquabatics" that re- 
sembles cross-country skiing. The two 
compartments are separated by an ar- 
ticulated passage, and when the pro- 
pulsor begins "skiing," the machine is 
supposed to flex in the middle. In re- 
sponse, the "tail" — a 10-foot pole 
tipped with a triangular fin — should 
sweep back and forth, whipping the ve- 
hicle forward like a fish. At least, that is 
what is suppose to happen. After wig- 
gling — and jiggling — at the starting 
gate, the Coelacanth sunk to the bot- 
tom. "It's a deep-sea fish," Masouredis 
says. Last seen, it was dangling at the 
end of what looked like a giant fish 
hook from a crane in Howard 
Johnson's parking lot with a beaming 
Masouredis and his crew standing be- 
fore their trophy. 

The Coelacanth may not have been 
fast, but it waged a noble fight under 

the circumstances. A British entry, Sub- 
mission Impossible, never did make it 
totheco'mpetition. And a compact, 110- 
pound German sub (BtHii I) survived a 
rough transatlantic flight in the baggage 
compartment of a plane only to break 
up on a reef its first day in Florida. Oth- 
er subs snagged buoys, lost propellers, 
blew hatches, and skyrocketed to the 
surface like sea-to-air missiles. 

Ironically, the most expensive, state- 
of-the-art designs often fared no better 
than thrifty, homespun inventions. 
High hopes and big bucks were riding 
on the Rolls Royce of subs, Team Ef- 
fort, manufactured by Bennett Indus- 
tries of Cookeville, Tennessee. It had a 
unique hydrodynamic shape — bullet- 
like — that permitted the sub to slip 
through the waves with almost no fric- 
tion, Still more revolutionary was its pro- 
peller — a stainless-steel jewel with 12 
individually pitch-controlled blades, 
Functioning like a helicopter rotor, the 
propeller provided three-dimensional 
control in all directions. Its designer, 68- 
year-old Ted Haselton, a retired navy 
submariner, initially conceived of the 
propulsion system in the early sixties as 
a technique for stabilizing fleet ballistic- 
missile submarines during launch. "If 
the propeller works," he boasted before 
the race, "we'll blow everyone else 

away." Indeed, with the aid of a slick 
new polymer that interacts with water to 
reduce drag, Haselton calculated that 
Team Effort might reach a remarkable 
7.4 knots. 

Alas, this bold initiative proved a 
case study in the pitfalls -of translating 
visionary ideas into workable inventions. 
After bolting out of the starting gate, 
Team Effort's safety buoy accidentally 
deployed. And that was not the least of 
its problems: In subsequent tests, the 
sub's hydraulic control system devel- 
oped a slow leak, bringing the gleam- 
ing $20,000 machine croaking to a 
halt on the seabed. 

Still, the judges helped to soften the 
blow. Even though Team Effort didn't 
live up to its tantalizing promise, they 
awarded its cutting-edge design the top 
prize for the most innovative sub. 

And the other victors? 

Economy was the winning ticket for 
UCSB's Love Missile. It's cardboard- 
fortified hull painted in "cool stripes" did 
indeed work great and at the right 
price. For the unbeatable value of $700, 
it walked away with the top award for 
cost-effectiveness. Marvels team lead- 
er Bish, "The $1,000 prize was bigger 
than our budget." 

When it came to swiftness of design, 
simplicity and reliability reigned su- 

" ON RAGE 91 

fe in the Nineties 

Emily Post. From 
he proper proto- 
col for using tele- 
phone answering 
ional politeness 

based consulting firm. Another DO: A 
ways return calls within 24 hours, if a 
all possible. 

• Letitia Baldrige describes call wailing 
the phone company's sen/ice for interrup 

vil." To avoid I : 

impolite to callers, DO deal with each 
separately before taking another call. 
• If you have a telephone beeper that 
__ nits an audible tor' •*-■-■■■ 

f at feel like I'm trapi 
ber, cut off fr 
ing, can bu 
jpt- cations o 
"an ■ Using ; 

with your name ar 
those of your me 
cipient. DON'T ser 




rusive ble for per 

tia Baldrige insists, "Uvw.*, ....... 

yhone, ceiving a slimy piece of fax paper 
ir car. read quickly and thrown away. Pe- 
king and pen are still most suitable for per- 

• With telephone answering machi 







ng to machines. DO leave a brief mes 
sage identifying yourself, the purpose o 
/our call, and a telephone numbe 

sages o 
use mus 

answering machines 
c or sound effects. DC 


in telephones, voice mail o^. ....... 

visual mer 
us. Also, expect talking machines using 
in the humans they replace. 


.._ _jrporate 
; . ......linar on the social 

protocol of business. Depending c 


..,._, .nay I tell her who called?' when 
Madam is busy fighting a knot in her nee- 
dlework or nur; ' 
Judith Martin, 

a telephone call, DO 
ntify youi 

DON'T spend time on the phone. !f you 



rate version of answering ma- 
lings i 
ing you to push more buttons on the teie- 

etiquette consulting 
i ago, they've never been bus- 
ier, says Wayne Phillips. "In an increas- 
ingly competitive business environment, 
" """i be the difference in 

tage of business etiquette is not lost . 
top management. According to Phillips, 
a major automaker's CEO 

so politely — "Yount.^, ™™. ...-<..- ,^« 
may need that person," says Wayne Phil- 

sage), is the most rec 
munications. For those of you with 
voice mail at work, DO begin by giving 
the digit (usually 0) that will connect to 
a human operator; DON'T make callers 
suffer through long lists of options. 

where he ..«* ,, : 
managers' lack of 
knowing t 


the most ignorant of etiquette in and out 
of the office are recent business school 
graduates. "A lot of people fresh out of 

nk and DON'T give prece- 
"ding to gender. "Women no 

latically introduced 
...,,.., Phillips. 
• When making introductions, DO follow 
~' : — it. boss, colleagues. 

Etiquette experts define 

the twenty-first century arts of faxing, 

phoning, and travel. 


ing to yourself, ' Phillips adds. "Say, I 

vived. according 
,: 'rafting a 

. Despite eight years of offi- 
moting "family 

some of the greatest changes in the up- 

third or fourth marriage, it's usually i 
" lg." As for < 

abeth Post says, "Maybe you hire help 
for the night for a big dinner party in 
your home," but the reality of smaller liv- 
ing quarters for many families also 
makes it proper to entertain friends at 
a restaurant. For a glimpse at the new 
domestic etiquette, read on: 

• Even if you are ignorant of domestic 
protocol in a specific situation, DO try 
to observe basic consideration for oth- 
ers — the root of all sensible etiquette. 
And DON'T be afraid to ask others' pref- 
erences or advice. 

• Are you acknowledging others' con- 
sideration with thank-you notes and 
phone calls? DO take time to show grat- 
itude for invitations to social gatherings, 
gracious deeds, or service beyond the 
call of duty. DON'T use the increasing 
scarcity of leisure time as an excuse to 
omit kudos. "Not taking time to say 
thank you is unpardonable," insists Eliz- 
abeth Post. 

• When sending invitations, DO speci- 
fy all the circumstances of the event. 
"Dress optional — no one seems to 
know what that means anymore," ob- 
serves Baldrige. If you receive an in- 
vitation with an RSVP, DON'T forget to 
respond so your host can plan ahead. 
Baldrige, whose Washington, D.C., of- 
fice can be found on embassy row, 
notes an ominous threat to domestic ci- 

vihiy in this nation's increasing litigious- 
ness. "The legal profession has made 
life difficult for etiquette. Suppose one 
of your children asks the teenager 
next door into your home," she posits. 
"If someone breaks a lamp and the teen- 
ager gets cut, before you know it the 
parents have called in lawyers and are 
suing you. It reminds me of something 
Clare Luce used to say: 'No good 
deed goes unpunished.' " 

International Politeness. In Miami, the 
International Etiquette School of Amer- 
ica began teaching manners to children 
about six years ago.. Soon after, it be- 
came an institution of adult learning, as 
well. According to assistant director Li- 
etty Pubillones-Raventos, the school's 
popular courses on international eti- 
quette teach local protocol to Ameri- 
cans who wili be traveling abroad. "As 
Americans gain greater access to oth- 
er countries and as businesspeople 
from abroad come here, etiquette is be- 
coming more universal," Pubillones- 
Raventos says. "But we have to remain 
respectful of each others' particular 
ways of greeting people, of eating, dress- 
ing, and making conversation." While 
more Americans are learning others' cus- 
toms and languages, the image of the 
ugly American persists. With internation- 
al business competition heating up, man- 

ners could mean the difference be- 
tween deals and debts. The etiquette 
of tomorrow will include many cross- 
cultural dos and don'ts. Below, we list 
some of them: 

• If you are an American in Japan, 
whether you are there for business or 
pleasure, DON'T try to shake hands or 
pat a Japanese on the back, but DO 
bow (and present your business card) 
upon being introduced. When eating 
Japanese-style, DO hold your rice 
bowl in your left hand and DON'T 
leave any grains of rice when you've fin- 
ished or you will be served rice again. 
"Having grown up in a society where 
food is routinely thrown out, Americans 
sometimes don't appreciate how import- 
ant eating all the food on one's plate 
can be in other cultures," explains Pu- 

• On the other hand, if you are a Japa- 
nese visitor in the United States, DON'T 
automatically assume that Americans 
are discourteous, and DO talk less 
brusquely to strangers on the tele- 
phone. When eating American-style, 
DON'T drink your cocktail throughout 
the entire meal. Such advice is regular- 
ly dispensed by New York-based busi- 
ness manners consultant Sara Gorfin- 
kle, a columnist on American etiquette 
for Japanese publications. "The Japa- 
nese are fascinated by our customs. 
our" holidays, and how we entertain," 
she explains. One column that recent- 
ly drew great interest from her Japa- 
nese readers described the Jewish ho- 
ly day of Yom Kippur. 

• When you are a foreigner in Europe, 
DO shake hands firmly and DON'T shy 
away from a hug or the greeting em- 
brace known as the abrazzo. If you 
don't speak the local language, DO con- 
verse in English, but DON'T use clich6s 
or colloquialisms that might not be 
understood abroad. "It's important to un- 
derstand that Europeans have a differ- 
ent time sense," remarks Pubillones- Rav- 
entos. "For example, the English are not 
interested in holding breakfast meet- 
ings, while Americans are rather at- 
tached to their 'power breakfasts,' " Ex- 
pect the international etiquette of the fu- 
ture to become more streamlined and 
homogenized as the pace of life 
speeds up and America's casual man- 
ners are increasingly adopted around 
the world. But don't assume that local 
proprieties will fade away. "There will al- 
ways be variations in etiquette due to 
climate and regional differences," Pu- 
billones-Raventos predicts. "You can 
be sure that the siesta will never disap- 
pear from Latin countries, no matter 
how much Anglo-Saxons would like of- 
fices to stay open from noon to three in 
the afternoon." DO 



CLAyroN - 
anGgrsgn , 

I; know nctfnfng^Dout horses. They are dramatic, nervous, of- 
tijn beautiful. And they leave me cold. Mow could 'something -. 
'To big and powerful allow itself to.be tamed so completely? 

I was walking the dog in 'the park. It was a gorgeous, first 
tbuch of spring afterngan full of -sharp and lush smells. I love 
forgetting the- aromas of a season and then knowing them again 
for the.fffst time. The dog was going nuts. She was off the line, \ 
racing around not knowing where to go first, wanting every- 
thing. She's a young thing, silly and loving. The two of us were", 
enjoying each other's company. ■ 

There are twoparallel paths in thatpark— one foi*-pedestr>, 
ans, the other for horseback- riders, the puppy didn't know 
what to make of these moving mountains wnen they.ciopped 
up slowly and went by. But instead of racing'after them she . 
froze; her only sign of life that long white tail whipping back 
and forth tike a windshield wiper at high speed. . . ' 

We'd walked^ for half an hour.without seeing one. It seemed 
she had forgotten their presencein her universe" until the sound 


' My 


of galloping came from behind us and 
the poor thing leapt straight up in the 
air. Landing, she scrunched down 
close to the ground, as if under attack. 
That made me laugh out loud and turn 
to see if the horseman had caught her 
performance. The galloping slowed and 
the horse chuffed indignantly — why are 
we stopping? Why are you reining me 
in? Shiny brown, muscles rolling and 
braking. Its head was pulled to one 
side, eyes and teeth flashing white. It 
took me a moment to recognize the 
man on board, but when I did, what a 
shock! Gordon Epstein. One of the 

was a SNAke. bis 


AbiLixy to 
Lie successr-uLLy 

to do well but not superbly and thus chal- 
lenge or throw them off in any way. He 
learned the lingo, he played slightly off- 
center sports— soccer and lacrosse — 
which enabled him to make the teams. 
A strong B student, varsity athlete, a 
hale enough fellow to make* people hap- 
py to know him. Someone said the 
world is divided into two kinds of peo- 
ple: The first kind we say, "Oh boy!" 
when they enter a room. The second 
we say, "Oh shit!" By the end of our 
sophomore year, most of the school 
said, "Oh boy!" when Gordon arrived. 
Yet most of the success resulted 

great, preeminent liars I have ever 

"Harry Radcliffe! What are you doing 
in Europe?" 

"Hi, Gordon. I'm working on a pro- 
ject near Salzburg. And you?" 

Before he answers, let me tell you 
about Epstein. We met in prep school 
twenty-five years ago. Some people 
change as they grow older, while oth- 
ers only become more of who they 
were at fifteen. Caterpillars versus 
snstes, Epstein was a snake. His one 
great talent was an ability to lie success- 
fully. He was a natural liar the way oth- 
64 OMNI 

er kids are natural aihletes or intellects. 
But remember, while few of us are re- 
ally athletic or smart, we all lie. So to 
be a great liar one must be at the 
same time more perceptive, witty, sen- 
sitive., .than those around you. If for no 
other reason than the danger of being 
caught, Epstein walked into that 
school a fifteen-year-old tenth-grade 
nobody (like the rest of us), cased it out 
a few months, then made his play. He 
seduced the movers and shakers with 
the right amount of praise, back-patting, 
back-stabbing, and politicking, Teach- 
ers liked him because he knew enough 

from his intense dishonesty. Study Ep- 
stein hard enough and you. could see 
the effort he was making; the frequent 
looks of concern or fatigue or straight 
fear way back in his eyes, the smile 
while he spun his webs and told the 
tales while keeping track of past ones, 
which were like dangerous caged ani- 
mals that without constant checking 
and feeding broke their restraints and 

He wasn't found out until our senior 
year. By then, however, he was way be- 
yond anyone's grasp. Class president, 
full scholarship to a good university, a 

girl on his arm ai the spring prom who 
had flown in from California for the week- 
end and did nothing but gaze at him 
with pride and lust. 

How Epstein was discovered was a 
gradual thing. After three years at the 
same school some of the lies and dou- 
ble crosses were bound to get back to 
their source. Good people who once be- 
lieved in him started saying. "Heyyy. 
what is this?" and telling others their 
suspicions. Maybe half our class real- 
ized the truth by the time we gradu- 
ated. Those who didn't defended him 
strongly enough to make the others 
keep their anger and grumbles mostly 
to themselves. 

While these years were passing, I float- 
ed somewhere near the middle of the 
class. Gordon had little use for people 
in the middle so he paid me little mind. 
He paid me no mind. But I watched him 
because even then I appreciated a 
good scoundrel. Although I was prob- 
ably one of the first to sense what he 
was doing, I rarely said anything when 
his name came up because he was no 
more important to me than I to him. 

Throughout high school I was only 
there, floating like a goldfish with an oc- 
casional flick of my tail. Yet once I en- 
tered college and discovered architec- 

ture, i quickly became the self-assured, 
obnoxious success I am. In later 
years, whenever I remembered, I 
asked about Epstein. Once in a while 
his name appeared in the alumni jour- 
nal or over a drink with one classmate 
or another I happened to run into at an 
airport or train station. He went to col- 
lege, graduated, disappeared into the 
rest of the world. From every indication. 
he had peaked in high school and sim- 
ply gone on to live a forgettable life. At 
different limes I heard he was in busi- 
ness, teaching, social work. 

Social work! I loved ihat one. Gordon 
Epstein was on this planet for himself 
and forget the rest. The idea of him try- 
ing to ease the life of a poor, pregnant 
woman or homeless bum was impossi- 
ble to swallow. I know that's an unfor- 
giving thing to say and people do 
change sometimes, but not this man. 
Forget it. 

Three years ago I was in Musso & 
Frank's having lunch when I heard a 
loud laugh from a nearby booth. Look- 
ing up, I saw the laugh belonged to 
none other than Gordon Epstein. Old- 
er, naturally, fatter in the face and thin- 
ner on top, but definitely G.E. 

I knew he wouldn't recognize me, 
but that was half the fun of standing up 

immediately and going over, hand ex- 
tended. "Gordon Epstein! How're you 

He was with a couple of so-so look- 
ing women and the first expression 
that crossed his face was resentment- 
he didn't want anyone horning in on 
whatever territory he'd gained with 
these two. Next, his expression went in- 
to cunning bewilderment — he saw who 
was greeting him, didn't know who it 
was, didn't want to show that, didn't 
want to look foolish, didn't want to be 
too enthusiastic. As in our days of old, 
if you watched a moment you could see 
the Gordon Epstein Command Center 
hard at work, 

"Hey. how're you doing?!" 

"Gordon, I'm Harry Radcliffe. Class 
of '67 at Banks?" 

Although it was plain he still didn't 
know who I was, just mentioning the 
name of the place where he'd been 
king for a time brought me a loving 

"Harry, God, how are you? Come on 
and sit down." 

We talked for a couple of minutes. 
The way he behaved reminded me of 
a jolly big dog licking my face. He sound- 
ed so grateful to have met up with some- 
one who knew him back then. Listen- 

ing to him, I realized how lucky I was 
not to have had a wonderful childhood. 
Those who do, or those who peak in 
their early years, have only that remem- 
bered joy or strength to tide them over 
the rest of their lives. Nothing could ev- 
er be as good as that time, for them noth- 
ing ever is. 

Gordon had a job, had had a wife, 
no chidren. I didn't want all the infor- 
mation he offered. Once I knew he'd 
gone on to live a life of quiet despera- 
tion I was satisfied. When he asked 
what I had been up to, I carefully and 
with [he most strategic false modesty 
possible told him about my own event- 
ful, successful life. When I was finished 
I felt good. It was stupid to show off in 
this pointless way, but I did it because 
he was an annoying ghost from my 
past and this was the only way I could 
exorcise it. Also, I fully believe in get- 
ting your licks in when you can. 

Only when I was well into flatulating 
about my achievements did something 
strike me deep about what he'd been 
saying. This man, no matter how unim- 
pressive he appeared, was one of the 
sneakiest wheeler-dealers I'd ever 
known. Unless one undergoes religous 
conversion or some other finding of The 
Light, lying, particularly on as grand 

and Byzantine a scale as this guy 
once worked, doesn't stop. Why was he 
so openly admitting his failure to me? 
Especially in front of two women he was 
clearly trying to impress? Something 
was up, I could feel deep in my own 
sneaky heart that Epstein was using me 
like a pickpocket who's stripped you of 
all your valuables before you even 
sense he's bumped you. The son of a 
bitch. I wasn't going to stick around. 
Feeling like a dumb cluck, I neverthe- 
less looked at my watch and groaned 
I was late for an appointment. The 
last glimpse I had of him was of his 
surprised face as 1 hurried io get out of 
the restaurant with at least some of me 
still intact. 

The puppy started barking at his 
horse. I clipped her back on the leash 
and held her quivering against my leg. 
Gordon climbed down and we shook 

"Harry, I'm really glad to see you. 
How long has it been? Christ, so much 
has happened!" 

He was deeply tanned and the lines 
around his eyes were those of some- 
one older. He was also much thinner 
than when we'd met in California. 

"You look good, Gordon. Like you've 

been working out." 

Behind us, the horse chuffed loudly 
and Epstein whirled fully around to 
look at it. "What? I didn't say anything!" 
He said to the animal. 

"Talking to your horse, Gordon?" 1 
said, very ha-ha joking. 

Turning back to me, his narrowed 
eyes were all solid dislike and unhap- 

"To my ghosts, Radcliffe. To my fuck- 
ing spent ghosts. Come on, let's sit 
down and I'll tell you a story. You got 
time for a story?" 


He started talking the moment we sat 
down. He let go of the horse's reins, but 
the animal never wandered far from our 
bench. When my dog realized the be- 
hemoth wasn't interested in her, she lay 
down under my legs. 

"Do you remember Frederick 

"The science whiz? Sort of a weird 

"Thai's right. He never took baths, 
but got all A's. The man definitely has 
brains. Well, around the time you and 
I last met, I'd just been canned from my 
last job. I'd been doing public relations 
for a big oil company in L.A., and I'll 
tell you, I saved their ass for them Re- 

cfra/ir*- faffe. is 

yeJ- sa-6'sfy 
fhafs Seyon*/ 

tflZ US. Q\ymp\c feo. 

member that oil tanker that caught (ire 
in Long Beach? The one that leaked 
30,000 crude into the harbor? It be- 
longed to Future Oil, my bosses. I 
worked day and night for those 
assholes trying to come up with clever 
ways of convincing the world that a 
30,000-gallon oil spill wasn't so bad. 

"I did great work for them, Harry, but 
they still fired me the minute the news 
slipped from page one to the back of 
the newspaper. They didn't want to be 
reminded of what they'd done. You 
know, kill the messenger and all that. It 
just so happened I was their messen- 
ger, but they killed me anyway." 

The horse whinnied, but Gordon ig- 
nored it. "Spode was my roommate 
first year at Banks and we got along 
pretty well, oddly enough. He was 
okay, just tunnel-visioned. As long as 
he washed now and then we were fine. 
Without him, I wouldn't have passed 
Algebra Two! 

"Both of us went to Penn and 
bumped into each other a few times 
over the years. Nothing special. Then 
I didn't see him anymore after we 

"After I was fired I was in bad 
shape. My ex-wife took the house, 
there wasn't a whole lot of money in the 
bank, and I didn't have the slightest 
idea of what to do next. 

"There's a yearly reunion of Banks 
alumni at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. 
Nothing big, but you always bump into 
someone surprising and have a good 
time. I never saw you there, Harry, Did 
you know about it? Anyway, in the mid- 
dle of all my crap, I said what the hell 
and went. Halfway into a very comfort- 
able drunk, who should put his arm on 
my shoulder but Fred Spode. Not that 
I would have recognized him because 
he looked wonderful — custom-made 
suit, manicured nails, colognel In the 
old days this guy's clothes had no dis- 
cernible color because they never got 
washed. Now I see Spode looking like 
an Italian crooner! 

"Turns out he's hit it big with a min- 
eral prospecting business, but hit it so 
big that he's doing hanky-panky deals 
with governments the U.S. hasn't spo- 
ken to for years. You know, like Libya 
and South Yemen? But somehow 
Fred's gotten the government's tacit 
permission to work in these places and 
he's raking it in. I wanted to kill the bas- 
tard. Instead I told him a little of my sto- 
ry. A couple of days later he calls up 
and offers me a job, just like that. I 
could have died." 

"What kind of job?" 

"The perfect one — doing public re- 
lations for his company. Most people 
don't know it, but there are things go- 
es OMNI 

ing on in those places that are very sur- 
prising. People working behind the 
scenes to change the attitudes of their 
governments so they can start dealing 
and working with the West again. Not 
everyone is waving scimitars and 
screaming, "Death to the infidels." 
Spode was right in the middle of this. 
The more these people moderated 
their stances toward the West, the 
more business he'd be getting. What he 
wanted from me was to go there and 
have a good look around, then come 
back and start work on campaigns, very 
hush-hush, that would make the world 
think differently about these countries. 
You know, do promotional films and bro- 
chures about the people and their na- 
tive customs, the beauty of their folk- 
lore... Naturally the things would 
come out under the name of the spe- 
cific governments, but all of the work 
would be done by us." 


lied his way merrily, 


merrily until the 

bottom fell 

out and he got into 

It was disgusting. 9 

"So where'd you go? How'd you get 
in, sneak across the borders?" 

Gordon cracked his knuckles. "If 
you're needed in these places, you can 
walk in with a marching band. Do you 
know how many Americans are work- 
ing in the Libyan oil fields? Enough to 
populate a nice-sized midwestern 
town. Only if you looked in their pass- 
ports you wouldn't see any Libyan vi- 
sas because those things get them in 

"No, Harry, going in and out of them 
is no problem. What you see there is the 
problem. Or what happens to you after 
you've seen it. 

"For the first months it was great. You 
worked hard and even though the way 
they do things over there is enough to 
send you screaming with frustration, we 
got a lot done and Fred made life com- 
fortable. Terrific pay, great connections 
and accommodations. You felt like you 
were making headway, you woke up ev- 
ery morning to the sound of a muezzin 
calling the' faithful to prayer, and I 
guess that's what I liked best: You 

woke up in the morning and, lying 
there in bed, said to yourself, 'I'm in 
Aleppo!' or Mokka, Baghdad. A few 
months before, I was tossing hamburg- 
ers in L.A., and now I was listening to 
the Arabian Nights out my window! Beau- 
tiful. It was a beautiful time-for me. I felt 
like I'd been reborn. 

"What do you think of me, Harry?" 

The question made me physically re- 
coil. My head jerked like I'd been 
pinched. It had come out of nowhere, 
and even more disconcerting was the 
fact that only a moment before, I'd 
been thinking, Why has this guy been 
so fortunate'? I would have bet a thou- 
sand dollars he'd not changed much 
from when we were in school. Just hear- 
ing he'd tried to convince a polluted 
world that another oil spill was an okay 
thing was enough to convince me he'd 
lied his way merrily, merrily, merrily un- 
til the bottom fell out and he got into trou- 
ble. Even then, who should pop up to 
save him but geek-turned-glamor-boy 
Fred Spode. It was disgusting and dis- 
heartening in ojie. 

"What do I think of you, Gordon? I 
think you're a dreadful and lucky man." 

"Not any more. The lucky part, I 
mean. I am still dreadful, but even 
that's changing. Not that its my doing." 

"How do you mean?" 

"Now, that's part two of my story. As 
you can tell, I was — you know, Harry, 
I'm glad you said that just now. It 
makes me like you more. Are you al- 
ways so honest?" 

"Only with people I don't like," 

He laughed and clapped his hands. 
"You'll feel better when I'm finished. So, 
where was I? In Paris. One day I was 
in Paris and got a call from Spode. He 
wanted me to fly to Teheran and go up 
north toward the Russian border, 
where some of our people were. By 
that time the idea of going to Iran 
didn't bother me much because I'd al- 
ready been in some pretty hot places 
and gotten along fine, So I caught the 
next flight there, was picked up at the 
airport and driven over. 

"It's nice country, very fertile and 
green, which is surprising when you 
think of a country like Iran. I'd been 
there two days when the earthquake 

"My God, Gordon, you were in that 
one that killed all those people? Like 

"Yes, I was. Thank God we were stay- 
ing in an old house that withstood the 
whole thing. It happened in the middle 
of the night and—" 

Until then he'd been speaking in a 
calm voice, almost like that of a docu- 
mentary film narrator. Suddenly he 
stopped. I looked over at him and 




A Nigerian psychiatrist employs traditional techniques 

of so-called "witch doctors:" free 
association, group therapy and behavioral modification 

em eyes. Larnbo also discovered that African vil- 
lage life with its strong tribal and familial bonds, has 
therapeutic benefits of its own. Employing what he 
caijs "methodological syncretism," the fusion of West- 
ern and traditional ideas, he began incorporating 
family members and villagers into his patients' psychi- 
atric treatmenis. 

Themissionaries made another mistake: dismiss- 
ing Africa's traditional healers as "witch doctors." 
They were, Lambo realized, adeptly employing 
many of the psychiatric techniques he had learned 
at the University of London. Centuries before 

Savages are happy. They laugh and dance and for- 
get their problems in the blink of an eye. Or so 
said the missionaries who penetrated the interior of 
Africa. It took an African psychiatrist— the continent's 
first — to explode this myth. 

When Thomas Adeoye Lambo looked into the vil- 
lages of his native Nigeria, he found plenty of psy- 
chotics and schizophrenics. The per capita in- 
cidence of menial illness in Africa is, in fact, the 
same as in New York City. But because Africans 
treat crazy people as part of everyday life, aber- 
rant behavior had always escaped the notice of West- 


Freud, they invented the "talking 
cure," free association, group therapy, 
and behavioral modification. They also 
used an extensive pharmacopoeia of 
herbal and psychotropic drugs. "Their 
psychotherapeutic sessions were vast- 
ly superior "to ours," says Lambo. 
"They showed we hadn't got it right." 
Faster, more effective, and costing one- 
fifth the price of a Western cure, Lam- 
bo's village-based mod- 
el for treating mental ill- 
ness has been adopted 
by 60 countries through- 
out the Third World. 

One of more than 30 
children fathered by a 
Yoruba chief with 12 
wives, Lambo was born 
in Abeokuta, Nigeria in 
1923. His early mission- 
ary schooling included 
burning African statues 
and masks on Sunday 
bonfires. He studied 
medicine at Birmingham 
University and went on 
to advanced degrees at 
London University's Insti- 
tute of Psychiatry. 

In the first of several 
famous research pro- 
jects, Lambo was hired 
by the Nigerian govern- 
ment to study mental 
illness and nervous 
breakdowns among his 
fellow African students 
in England. Touring the 
wards, he discovered 
that sick students, in 
spite of their Ph. D.'s and 
Saville Row suits, cast 
their delusions in terms 
of witchcraft and juju. 
Lambo already suspect- 
ed that only an indige- 
nous African psychiatry 
could deal with the Afri- 
can psyche. 

Returning to Nigeria 
in 1950, he was ap- 
pointed director of the 
Aro Hospital for Nervous 
Diseases, Africa's first 
mental hospital. But before it was built, 
Lambo's British wife, in suggesting he 
billet his patients in neighboring villag- 
es, gave him his first idea for deviating 
from psychiatric orthodoxy. Colonial ad- 
ministrators looked aghast at his next 
experiment. Using his own money, Lam- 
bo hired a dozen traditional healers to 
practice alongside clinical staff. For 12 
years he filmed and analyzed the 
"witch doctors" at work. 

At the same time, he began study- 
ing the psychological effects of mod- 

72 OMNI 


Former head, Depart- 
ment of Psychiatry, 
Dean of Medical School, 
and Vice-Chancellor, 
University of Ibadan, 
Nigeria; Deputy 
Director-General, World 
Health Organization 
I've never prescribed it, 

but not because 

I don't believe in it. I don't 

know how it 

works, but it does. 


They spend more time 

with patients than 
New York psychiatrists. 

Psychiatric Disorder 
Among the Yoruba 

There is no culture 

in ihe world 
free of neuroses. 

ernization in postcolonial Africa. Depres- 
sion, anxiety and other neuroses are the 
price paid for social change. In its ma- 
lignant form, this anxiety spawns secret 
societies devoted to ritual murder. In the 
late fifties, Lambo invited colleagues 
from Cornell University to join him in the 
first comparative study of mental illness 
in the Third World. Working with con- 
trol populations in New York City and 
Halifax, Nova Scotia, 
they showed that Afri- 
cans and Westerners 
alike suffer from mental 
illness, although the 
symptoms will be specif- 
ic to the culture from 
which they arise. Their 
book, Psychiatric Disor- 
der Among the Yoruba is 
now a classic text on Af- 
rican civilization and its 

Lambo became head 
of the department of 
psychiatry, dean of the 
medical school and vice- 
chancellor of the Uni- 
versity of Ibadan, In 
1971 he left Africa for 
Geneva and the WHO, 
by 1975 emerging as 
WHO'S Deputy Director- 
General. Now retired 
and living in Nigeria, he 
travels the world advis- 
ing everyone from 
popes to presidents. 

We had missed each 
other during an earlier 
rendezvous planned for 
Geneva, and our sec- 
ond appointment in 
Washington, D.C., was 
nearly canceled by a 
coup attempt. Over six 
feet tall, spare, elegantly 
dressed, Lambo, at 69, 
cuts an impressive fig- 
ure. But he was visibly 
shaken by this last in a 
series of bloody turns in 
Nigerian politics. 

— Thomas Bass 

Omni: What's your opinion of the term 
"witch doctor?"" 

Lambo: It's a derogatory term coined 
by missionaries. When I went to mission 
school, every Sunday we were sent in- 
to the villages to collect all the idols and 
carved objects that now fetch millions 
of dollars at Christie's auction house. 
We'd pile them in the middle of the vil- 
lage and burn them. This was part of 
our mission to convert the savage to 
Christianity. But just as there's no one 
single religion, there's no one single 

way to practice medicine. I could call 
quite a number of modern physicians 
"witch doctors," such as the ones who 
do "exploratory" surgery so they can 
hand you a heavy bill, 
Omni: What was your family like? 
Lambo: My father was paramount 
chief in the ancient town of Abeokuta. 
But in Africa, especially among the 
Yoruba, a child has no one single fa- 
ther. Your mother's brother is also your 
father. Psychodynamically, this substi- 
tution allows for extended care and a 
choice of role models. My grandmoth- 
er gave me her own breast to suckle for 
years. There was nothing in it, but it 
kept me quiet! I spent my early years 
thinking she was my mother. We lived 
in a large compound, and even today 
there are people there whose relation- 
ships are so ill-defined I can't trace 
them. My cousin Joseph Lambo is a tra- 
ditional healer. Even in grade school he 
was interested in herbalism, which he 
practiced on all of us. 
Omni: Does he have magical powers? 
Lambo: Traditional healers tend to 
think that everything is supernatural and 
metaphysical. Africans on the whole 
still believe this. If my cousin is going 
to cure you with the leaves of a partic- 
ular tree, he'll visit the tree early in the 
morning, chanting incantations and in- 
voking the spirit of the tree. He also us- 
es a great deal of psychotherapy. He 
looks into the coals of a fire to analyze 
your dreams and makes startling obser- 
vations. "Did you ever do such and 
such?" "Why yes! How did you know?" 
He goes into the patient's home and 
places fetish objects in the corners to 
ward off evil spirits. He sacrifices chick- 
ens and goats and uses their blood to 
wash a man's head. These sacrifices 
and ritual expiation to the spirits are im- 
portant to the cure. 
Omni: Why is this psychotherapy? 
Lambo: Because I am a psychiatrist 
and psychiatrists don't do any more 
than this, even in New York City. In 
fact, they do less because they have no 
time for you. Traditional healers spend 
a lot of time talking to their patients, get- 
ting medical histories. They hold psy- 
chotherapeutic sessions, either jointly 
or in groups, where they analyze 
dreams, dance, or perform ritual sacri- 
fices. These healers are not in it for the 
money. But at the end of his cure, a pa- 
tient might give one some yams, a cou- 
ple of chickens, or a goat. Knowledge 
passes from father to son in a seven- 
year apprenticeship, No one calls him- 
self a therapist just because he's 
spent three years getting a bachelor of 
science degree. 
Omni: How effective are they? 
Lambo: At Aro we taped everything 

A toast to the glorious legend of Camelot. 

Society presents The Exralibur 


i artist David 1 Cornell. 

|H Each imported got 
' f ly craft ' 

> ;: 1 

Legendary artis!., ,^, ■ 
legend. Only from The F 

u^n—^S* ','M. 

they did for nine years, and found their 
techniques to be remarkably effective. 
For both human and scientific reasons, 
patients coming to the hospital were 
asked whether they wanted Western or 
traditional methods. So the two devel- 
oped along parallel lines like the Chi- 
nese system, although the healers nev- 
er worked at the hospital. In fact, the 
colonial government sent me a letter of- 
ficially disassociating itself from my 
work saying, "We have just built the 
most modern psychiatric hospital in Af- 
rica., What are you doing hiring witch doc- 
tors? If one of your schizophrenics kills 
someone, His Majesty's Government 
will take no responsibility." 
Omni: Why did you decide to become 
a psychiatrist? 

Lambo: I wanted to be an anthropolo- 
gist or sociologist, but in those days 
there were only two recognized disci- 
plines for educated Africans — medicine 
and law. By the time I returned, things 
had changed. Africans could study hu- 
man behavior and social dynamics. The 
nearest thing to this in medicine is 
psychiatry, the only medical discipline 
that looks at the entirety of a human and 
his or her immediate relations, People 
had originally told me I was crazy to 
study psychiatry. "You're a good sur- 
geon. You'll make lots of money. They 
don't even practice psychiatry in Afri- 
ca!" Well, today psychiatry in Nigeria is 
booming, and universities are filled 
with professors of psychiatry who are 
my former students. 

Aro was the first psychiatric hospital 
in Africa. There were asylums for lock- 
ing up the insane, but no treatment what- 
soever. All nurses and occupational ther- 
apists I hired there had to be Europe- 
ans, because it would take years be- 
fore Africans were trained to assume 
these positions. People still come to Aro 
from as far away as Tanzania and 
Botswana for a degree in psychiatry. 
Omni: Why did you decide to lodge 
some patients in the villages? 
Lambo: I wanted to prove that psychot- 
ic patients aren't any more violent than 
normal humans. Their violence is 
caused by the way you look at them, 
You expect them to be violent, so be- 
fore anything, you tie them down. 

I'd put one schizophrenic or psychot- 
ic in the hospital and one in the village, 
at random. But I insisted that those go- 
ing to the village be accompanied by 
their relatives. The others went into the 
hospital alone, just like in New York or 
Chicago. I wanted to prove that the vil- 
lage cure would be faster, better, with 
fewer relapses. Rehabilitation would be 
smoother. During psychotherapy, the 
mother or aunt would sit with us. So 
when the patient was discharged, 

74 OMNI 

there was no special follow-up to ex- 
plain what was being done. 

Some psychotherapy was planned, 
some spontaneous. This included talk- 
ing to normal villagers, isolating patients 
by locking them up leads to convulsions 
and heavy reliance on psychotropic 
drugs. I billeted patients in the homes 
of people who showed the greatest tol-. 
erance. Even today Africans are tremen- 
dously tolerant of what Westerners call 
"deviant" behavior. Only northern Eu- 
ropean cultures make clear-cut distinc- 
tions between normal and abnormal. 
Omni: How did the village health care 
system work? 

Lambo: We paid five shillings a night for 
each patient and another five for each 
relative, in addition, the villages were 
given electricity and piped water to im- 
prove hygiene. At first the farmers, fish- 
ermen and small traders feared that pa- 
tients in their homes would endanger 

Q could call 
quite a number of modem 

'witch doctors' — such as 

the ones who 

do 'exploratory' surgery so 

that they can 

hand you a heavy bill. 9 

their families. It took a year and a half 
of negotiations to set up the experiment, 
but finally we got everyone behind the 
project. During the 12 years I was 
there, not one incident took place. 
Omni: Which system worked better, vil- 
lage or hospital? 

Lambo: Unless they chose to be treat- 
ed by a traditional healer, patients in 
both villages and hospital had 
planned therapy, injections of psy- 
chotropic drugs, electroshock, and so 
on. The only difference lay in the social 
dynamics. Someone in the hospital 
couldn't talk to anyone but his psychot- 
ic neighbor, while those in the villages, 
after getting their shots of thorazine, 
could go sit in the market and talk to 
anyone they wanted. 

The village cure was qualitatively bet- 
ter. Even people who didn't recover to- 
tally were more able to function on 
their own. And the village cure cost one- 
fifth of a hospital stay. All the psychot- 
ics didn't regress to the bottom of the 
heap, as I saw in the big hospitals in 
London. People buried away in the 

depths of the hospital could no longer 
put on their socks and shoes. People 
who maintain social contact don't re- 
gress to the infantile stage. Locking up 
patients for 30 years costs the govern- 
ment a hell of a lot of money. 
Omni: Are the villages still functioning? 
Lambo: At a low level. People have 
told me I was only able to do this be- 
cause Nigeria then was in a preindus- 
trial stage. Once a country is industri- 
alized — people living in nuclear families 
in city apartments, moving here and 
there at the whim of their employers — 
it becomes difficult to tie yourself 
down caring for relatives. Eighty per- 
cent of Africa is still rural, but with the 
next generation it will be detribalized 
and industrialized. The hypothesis I test- 
ed so successfully at Aro may not sur- 
vive these present developments. 
Omni: How have the villages changed? 
Lambo: I began before the days of her- 
oin, cocaine, or crack. Today it's a dif- 
ferent matter. We can't do anything 
with the young people on drugs. I 
couldn't put them in the villages; 
they'd ruin the entire social fabric. 
They're under such tremendous pres- 
sure; they'd practically kill to support 
their habits. Nobody at present has the 
answer to this problem. 
Omni: Are you still treating patients? 
Lambo: When I retired from WHO and 
went back to Africa in 1989, I Said I 
wasn't going to touch anybody, except 
maybe some colleagues my age. But 
they bring me their sons and daughters, 
many of whom are in trouble with 
drugs, and what am I supposed to do? 
I send them to Aro, now a research cen- 
ter for treatment in addiction. They 
break windows, bribe nurses to sell 
them drugs. Now that Americans and 
Europeans have become health-con- 
scious about smoking and cholesterol, 
your cigarettes, and drugs are being 
dumped in the Third World. 
Omni: What are the psychological ben- 
efits of ritual sacrifice?. 
Lambo: I once treated a Cambridge- 
educated judge who ran his car off the 
road on his way to court. Only slightly 
injured, he was badly shaken when I ex- 
amined him at the University of Ibadan 
and gave him tranquilizers. A few 
weeks later he came to see me. "How's 
your recovery going?" I asked, "Tom, 
to be perfectly honest," he said, "I 
think it was a case of juju. I had a vi- 
sion in which my grandfather told me 
in order to break the spell I should sac- 
rifice a goat. Not believing in such 
things, I told my parent to sacrifice the 
goat. And you know what? Since then 
I've been as right as rain!" 

I've seen hundreds of cases like 
this. The Nigerian government em- 




The world's most hated UFO debunker speaks out on his 
work and the evolution of his views 








this dubious distinc 
years debunking UF(J 
literally hundreds of print, radio, 
written numerous "setting the i 
cles on UFO sightings in public 

tion Week (where he's a senior editor) and The Skepti- actually caused by atmospheric phenomena such as 

cat Inquirer; and written books with titles like UFOs ball lightning or coronas. 

The Public Deceived. Today, with almost 1 00 UFO investigations behind 

So it's no wonder that people like Budd Hopkins, him, Klass doubts that he 

author of two books on alien abduction, label Klass ever see eye to eye- Still, k— ~ ~ .. 

"an ideologue, and a fanatic believer that these role as the UFO world's most famous her 

things cannot happen." It's also no surprise that a stride. He's even hung the Philip Klass dart board 

'ar sales item at UFO conventions is a dart over his computer. 

<„_,„.„ with Phil Klass's face as the bull's-eye. And though at 72, Klass says he'd love to give up 

But Klass wasn't always a UFO debur ' 
in the beginning, he was almost a UFO 
1966, Klass. then a jourr 

read a review of Incident at Exeterby John G. Full- dia, and editing his UFO 

er. "Fuller theorized," says Klass, "that the glowing So why should Klass continue 

balls of fire sighted hovering over high-tension pow- ically, a UFOIogistwho respects ...... 

, New Hampshire, in September of thatquestion. According to Jerry Black, Regional ln- 

- for the Mutual UFO Network in Clarei 

the power system, or drawing pow- County, Ohio, "Because the field is so full of 
and I 






LAKE ERIE MONSTER I And the story v 

Ever since the turn of to Tokyo. 

....... onfronted with 

the-monster contest, and a baby — became one of 

ea businesses added tl 

more than $77,000 in cash hits. Then, about a year 

) other and a half i 

rewards. Monster burgers, v 

donuts, caps, and T-shirts video, people started 

this poor, shattered 
woman talk to Barbara 
Walters. "It is an interest 
v. hut Barbara 

spokesperson £™ 

Richard III resen._ 
Shakespeare's hatchet 
job on his reputation, an( 
Joan of Arc thinks 

told — fueled, perhaps by 
the image, which does 
look more like a little boy 
than a carr"~~~ 

found in the pages of 
Voices From Spirit, a 
bimonthly newsletter pub- 
lished by Gerald and 
Linda Polley of Orlando, 


." Using your angel house look?") says Lennon. Then there 

a blend of psychology and Not surprisingly, Len- was Sylvia, a button-dow 

psychic ability, she says, non tends to get clients bank employee who dare 

" 3nts find their who are at turning points to express her ; 

along with in their lives. She in paint and fab. ._. . 

describes the case of Ellie general, Lennon stress 

__.il. (clients remain anony- her clients tend to fall c. . 

her mous), a divorced woman the conservative end of 

awn children who the New Age bell curve, 

ter a charming After all, turning to an 


man sat behind a desk. "It was like a 

novel," Gluzman recalls. For the next 
five or six hours the KGB officer asked 
him questions about forbidden docu- 
ments and antitotalitarian friends. "I was 
strong," he recalls. "I said I know no- 
body; I know nothing; it's all a mistake." 

Then a second KGB man came in 
and asked about his correspondence 
with an American named Ralph Maka- 
rov "That was your first contact," said 
the KGB man. "That is when we start- 
ed our file on you." 

At first Gluzman was at a loss, but fi- 
nally he remembered. Seven years ear- 
lier, when he was 20, he had been on 
vacation with friends and they had met 
a group of touring foreigners. One of 
these, Makarov, 30, had asked for 
their addresses so that he could write 
to them. All of Gluzman's friends had 
refused— out of fear, "I was ashamed, 
so I gave him my address," says 
Gluzman. They had corresponded a 
few times, and Gluzman had forgotten 
the incident. The KGB had not. 

Lacking sufficient evidence to detain 
Gluzman further, the frustrated KGB of- 
ficer finally gave up and told his asso- 
ciate to give the young doctor the 
pass he would need to leave the build- 
ing, adding, "Don't worry; we'll pick him 

job as usual. Then on the gray morn- 
ing of May twelfth, as he stepped out 
onto the street from his house to go to 
work, he noticed that something was 
amiss. But he was already late, so he 
dismissed the two black cars filled 
with large men parked on the street and 
hurried to catch the number 4 trolley to 

work. As he waited, one of the KGB 

agents that had searched his house be- 
fore cattie up and put a hand on his 
shoulder. "Semyon," he said, "We 
must ask you some questions. It will be 
very quick, though. Come with us." 

"But it's not possible," said Gluzman. 
"I must go to my job." 

"Oh that is no problem," the man re- 
sponded, "We'll call them and say you'll 
be 15 minutes late." 

He was ushered into the back seat 
of one of the cars, wedged between 
two burly men. Five minutes later he 
was back at KGB headquarters. "I un- 
derstood," says Gluzman, "that this was 
the finish of my former life and the be- 
ginning of a new one. Looking through 
the window, I saw a large tree turning 
green with leaves. "Maybe," I thought, 
"this is the last time I will ever see such 
a tree again." A few minutes later he 
was whisked away to the KGB prison. 

He was officially brought to trial the 
following October. "It was court without 
court," he remembers. A secret trial, on- 
ly a main judge and two associates, half- 
a-dozen armed soldiers, and his lawyer 
were present in the courtroom, The wom- 
an who was his defense lawyer was of 
no help. "Oh why did I agree to be 
your lawyer?" she kept repeating, terri- 
fied, to Gluzman. 

Gluzman was charged with anti-So- 
viet agitation and propaganda, but the 
Grigorenko paper was not in evidence- 
in fact, not even mentioned — at the tri- 
al. The KGB knew of its existence but, 
according to Dr. Robert van Voren of 
the Geneva Initiative, felt the material 
would embarrass the authorities. 

Instead, the KGB solicited testimony 
from informers as well as some of 
Gluzman's friends. Their condemnation 
was devastating: Gluzman had said 
there were no human rights in the So- 

nnmtes tvtilii around the courtyard oi the Kirov 
^Psychoneurological Asylum for the mentally ill. 

viet Union, that antisemitism was ram- 
pant, that dissidents were sent to polit- 
ical camps, and that suppression of the 
1968 Czech rebellion was wrong. 

How could his friends testify against 
him? "They were afraid," he says with 
quiet sorrow. "They were-not bad peo- 
ple. In the end, I am happier than they. 
One of them, a psychiatrist who was a 
very close friend, later killed himself 
when he was drunk." 

The verdict at his trial was swift and 
harsh, He was sentenced to seven 
years of imprisonment in a labor 
camp, followed by three years of exile 
in Siberia. 

Once removed from the courtroom, 
Gluzman was given a few minutes with 
his elderly parents — the first time they 
had been able to see him since his jail- 
ing seven months earlier. "We are 
guilty," they whispered to him. "We 
have brought you to this," referring to 
their long-held antitotalitarian beliefs. 
"What could I say," Gluzman recalls, "It 
was true, of course, that they, along 
with others, had helped me to think the 
way I did." But he did not say this to 
them. It would have been too cruel. 

From Kiev, he was sent to a special 
"political" section of the Perm Labor 
Camp. From there he was sent to a 
camp for political prisoners in Mordo- 
via near the Ural mountains — a bleak fa- 
cility made of shacks encircled by a 
wire fence. Wording in the boiler room, 
Gluzman stoked the fires to provide 
heat for the camp. Later he worked in 
a factory that made pipes, and after 
that, in a sawmill. 

But he also continued to read psy- 
chiatric literature and fight psychiatric 
abuse. During his first years in the 
camp, for instance, he wrote A Manual 
on Psychiatry for DissBnters with coau- 
thor Vladimir Bukovsky, a feliow prison- 
er and dissident, providing dissenters 
with enough knowledge of psychiatry to 
avoid, as much as possible, the diag- 
nosis of insanity. 

Gluzman returned to Kiev from his 
decade of exile in 1982. Not allowed to 
work as a psychiatrist, he eventually be- 
came a pediatrician. 

The acute period of Gluzman's long 
nightmare is finally over, but Soviet psy- 
chiatry still faces the paroxysms of its 
transformation from a tool of the enslav- 
ers to a legitimate medical disc. pi ne. 
Today, in the wake of the breakup and 
democratization of the. Soviet Empire, 
the job remains to be done. More than 
a decade after Gluzman's release, 
much of the old guard of Soviet psychi- 
atry remains. Georgii Morozov, the for- 
mer director of the infamous Serbski In- 
stitute in Moscow, for instance, still re- 
tains the title of the facility's honorary 

director. Like all personnel a! Serbski, 
he is still accountable to the military as 
well as the ministry of health. "Among 
his victims," says Robert van Voren, 
"are Vladimir Bukovsky and General 
Pyotr Grigorenko." 

These two, along with other noted dis- 
sidents, were diagnosed to be of un- 
sound mind by Morozov and commit- 
ted to psychiatric hospitals for years. 
Even with the rise of Peristroika and 
Giasnost, Morozov and other leaders of 
the psychiatric establishment, notably 
Marat Vartanyan, director of the All- 
Union Research Center for Mental 
Health, and Tatyana Dimitrivea, Direc- 
tor of the Serbski, seem reluctant to 
stray from the old school. 

In fact, as late as 1983, Morozov 
charged that dissidents suffered from 
"sluggish schizophrenia," in which 
they entertained "delirious ideas of per- 
secution or delusions that they were 
great reformers. Such patients can some- 
times act the role of so-called pathologi- 
cal prophets and morbidly passionate 
idealists and exert a certain influence 
on mentally healthy individuals who, not 
being specialists, cannot make a cor- 
rect assessment of the mentally ill per- 
son's condition." In Morozov's view, 
these dissidents were suffering from a 
pathological fixation on human rights, 

freedom, justice, and individualism — 
without any clinical signs of mental ill- 
ness. It was a handy diagnosis indeed 
for committing gadflies. 

But today, more Soviet psychiatrists 
than ever before are following 
Gluzman's lead. Balking at this heavy- 
handed use of psychiatry for political re- 
pression, they are leaving their profes- 
sion's All Union Society, preferring to set 
up independent psychiatric associa- 
tions. Such organizations already exist 
in the three Baltic countries, Georgia, 
and the Ukraine. 

These days, Gluzman doesn't prac- 
tice medicine, preferring instead to de- 
vote his time and energy to writing, lectur- 
ing, and working for human rights. He 
founded the Ukrainian Independent Psy- 
chiatric Association and has, with a com- 
mittee of independent lawyers and 
psychiatrists, created a clear body of 
laws governing psychiatric care and pa- 
tients' rights. 

He's got his work cut out for him. 
With a dearth of funds available, living 
conditions in the Special Psychiatric Hos- 
pitals have yet to improve. According 
to a 1989 report by a U.S. State Depart- 
ment fact-finding group, these depress- 
ing, repressive facilities have "many of 
the characteristics of psychiatric pris- 
ons. Patients are denied basic rights, 

are apparently subject to punitive use 
of medication, and are fearful of retalia- 
tion if they complain." Conditions have 
deteriorated so drastically in the past. 
12 months that patients are crowded, 
hungry, and frequently unwashed. 

Hoping to transform Soviet psychia- 
try, Gluzman's currently trying to raise 
cash for the Russian edition of the Diag- 
nostic Syndromes Manual, the bible of 
modern psychiatry. Right now, the 
most recent psychiatric text, on which 
7,500 Soviet psychiatrists rely, is over 
30 years old. 

Gluzman, standing on stage in New 
Orleans to stir up sympathy for his 
cause, looks more like the ordinary doc- 
tor he claims to be than the hero oth- 
ers would make him. He is, perhaps, re- 
ally both. Like the heroes of Hitchcock 
movies, he is an ordinary man who 
made a brave decision in an extraordk 
nary time. 

His courage seems to have paid off. 
Since our conversation last year in New 
Orleans, the totalitarian central govern- 
ment of the USSR has come tumbling 
down. In the rush to freedom, the se- 
cret police seem to be losing their iron 
grip on the lives of the people. But in 
the city of Kiev, in Ukraine, Gluzman is 
free at last to craft the rebirth of Soviet 
psychiatry and Soviet law. DO 

Tfe® Artist 

Finailt/ — 
My own spot- / 



And •fco qyofc'2 
Old Bioz Eyes — - 
/ r did it 

^. my way/ 

* C^ 




there were tears sliding down his face. 

"Are you okay?" 

Half of his face smiled, the other 
half was all pain. "Okay? Sure I'm okay. 
I was just thinking about that night. The 
sounds. Have you ever been in a bad 

"That one in LA. last year." 

He nodded. "Then you know. I nev- 
er heard a sound like it. Like troops in 
a war. And the cracking and groaning, 
the millions of tons of rock grinding up 
against itself. . . . Have you ever heard the 
word zalzalah?" 


"Neither did I until the next day. It 
means earthquake in both Arabic and 
Persian. According to the Koran, the 
world will end with an earthquake. A zal- 
zalah. At that time, the Earth will give 
up all of its secrets. All the good and 
all the evil will be revealed. 

"But you know something? People 
think the end of the world will come 
with one big bang. A big crash and it'll 
be all over. They're wrong. It's already 
begun and they don't know it. But I do 
because I was there." 

"Where, in Iran? I was in an earth- 
quake, too, Gordon, it was bad, but I 
didn't see Christ rise out of the San An- 
dreas fault." 

"You don't know what you saw be- 
cause maybe it hasn't touched you yet, 
but it will. Believe me, it will. I'll tell you 
what happened to me, just as a small 

"Both you and I know what kind of 
person I am. I don't need to go into it, 
do I?" 

I shook my head. As far as what 
kind of person Gordon Epstein was, 
yes, we sure did know what he was talk- 
ing about. 

"Okay, so I can cut to the chase 
Knowing the kind of person I was, imag- 
ine that man, that Epstein, next day walk- 
ing around in this wrecked world as 
scared and exhilarated as I have ever 
been. I was alive! I'd survived an earth- 
quake that killed 50,000 people! Can 
you imagine? I was never so happy in 
my life. I'd done it again; I'd come 
through. There were bodies and rubble 
and screaming and crying, but I was 
walking on my healthy two legs, safe! 
Even when the aftershocks came — 
and there were many of them, believe 
me — I knew I was safe, that nothing 
would happen to me, You just know 
you're through it. You made it. Nothing 
did happen to me until I lied. 

"They came and asked me to help 
look for. survivors. I was still scared, so 

"All Goods Worth Price Charged." We're still 
saying it in times like these. 

Mr. Lem Modow put this 
slogan on jugs and crocks of his 
uncle's whiskey. You see, he 
knew that no other whiskey was 
made with pure limestone water. 
And that no other 
distiller mellowed his 

product through hard maple charcoal 

before aging. Mr. Modow knew value 

when he saw it. And still today, 

though Jack Daniel's is priced above 

most whiskeys, a sip will prove 

its worth. 


Tennessee Whiskey • 40-43X alcohol by ralunie (80-66 prool) ■ Distilled aid Bottled by 
Jack Daniel Distiller), Lem Motion Proprietor. Route 1, LynchBtirg (Pnp 361), Tennessee 37352 
Placed in theNotio mi I Kteisle re. f'tfr'f .'o nV i':m ■:■■» cv tin !. ■>! tied Slates Government. 

I lied and said I was too sick to do it. 
There were two men, Radcliffe. Two 
men about our age. They'd lost ever- 
thing but were waiting to grieve till af- 
ter they'd helped as much as they 
could. They looked at me with nothing 
in their faces until one of them asked 
me if I knew about zalzalah. I said no 
and he told me what I just told you. Noth- 
ing else. 

"A few moments later, my tongue 
turned to stone in my mouth. And 
know what else? At that instant I knew 
what it meant: From then on, for the 
rest of my life, my tongue would turn to 
stone any time I lied. Like Pinocchio 
with his nose, only mine happened for 
maybe ten or fifteen seconds. Then it 
turned back to normal, and when I hid 
it carefully, no one knew what was hap- 
pening. Only me, only Pinocchio Ep- 
stein with a stone for a tongue in his ly- 
ing mouth. Zalzalah. The Earth will 
give up its secrets. All good will be re- 
vealed. And all evil. Guess who was evil 
and guess who got caught?" 

Before I had a chance to swallow 
that one, he continued. 

"But I didn't need my evil to be re- 
vealed because I'd known it all my life. 
The Earth was telling me I lied? So 

"But the tongue was only the begin- 

ning. When I was able to get out of Iran, 
almost the moment I crossed the bor- 
der, the tongue stopped and the weath- 
er began. When I lied now, the sky 
grew instantly cloudly and no matter 
what kind of day it had been, a giant 
rain cloud came over me, only me, and 
began to pour down rain. It could be a 
brilliant sunny day and there I'd be, 
alone with my terrible little thunderhead 
over my head, soaking only me for min- 
utes on end." 

"Gordon — " 

"It made me wonder if God read Li'i 
Abner. Remember the character in the 
comic strip that happens to? And after 
that stopped, it was the food. I would 
tell a lie and suddenly I was holding 
food in my hands — cooked turkeys or 
green beans, melting ice cream or 
baked potatoes. 1 ' 

I started to get up but Gordon 
caught my arm. I pulled but he held 
fast. "Since I've come here, it's this 
horse! One day it was there, outside the 
hotel door waiting for me. Do you know 
what it is? All my lies together as one. 
Look at it, don't you see how it's too 
beautiful? Look at the eyes, took at how 
smart they are. Look at the way it's star- 
ing at us When I'm honest now, it 
goes away for a while, but I don't know 
how to be honest. It's not just a ques- 

tion of lie or don't lie. Dishonesty gets 
under your skin like bacteria and then 
it becomes a virus. It makes its own and 
they're all different. I never had to be 
honest, so I honestly don't know how. 
Sooner or later there is always some- 
thing new — a cloud, a tongue, a horse. 
It's so goddamned insidious, too, be- 
cause sometimes the things that hap- 
pen are funny, you know? Like sudden- 
ly you're holding a corned beef sand- 
wich in the middle of Carmen at the op- 
era? But then a day later you go blind 
ever^ time you lie. Remember the story 
of Job? How God tested him with one 
terrible thing after another? It works the 
other way, too, believe me. Sometimes 
He tests the bad men too. But when you 
never know what it's going to be — 
good or bad or funny or so fucking fright- 
ening.... Do you know how hard it is no! 
to lie? Even with this" — he threw an arm 
out toward the horse — "near you every 

I couldn't resist. "How do I know 
you're not lying now, Gordon?" 

He smiled, proudly. "Look at the 

I smiled back and did. In the animal's 
mouth was an enormous and very beau- 
tiful bouquet of rare flowers, the kind 
you see at expensive florist shops. I had 
no idea where it came from. No idea of 
where it could have come from out 
there in the middle of that park of pine 
and chestnut trees, the spring not yet 
old enough for any real flowers to have 
come up yet, much less bloomed. DO 


COVER, Marvin [viaiieis.cri; page 2 top left. 
A. Porokhovnkov; page 2 lop right, Mike Mitch- 
el; page 2 bottom.' ■.; ..■.,■■■: ■■:, p ■'!■■ ■ 
Jetf 0. Tomlin.ii ;n, Art f, FinUx-il ffeso.jiops 
Inc.; page 6 top, Chris Moor/Art bank i ■ ■ i ■. : = ; 
national; page 6 bottom, Shel Secunda; 
page 10, Tony Wang; page 16 right, SIPA 
PRESS; page 15 left. Peter Arnold, Ir 
page 17, William Whitehust/Stock Mar 
page 24, Art Resource, page 27, Sloe!; Mar- 
ket; page 28. Bob Wolfson; page 30 right, Gi- 
na Martine/Art and Editorial Resources inc . 
page 33, the Stock Markei; page 34 top, 
Gary Gay/Image Bank; page 34 bottom, Lar- 
ry Simpson/P ■:■::■ r: . page 3710p, 

Will & Deni Mclnlyre/Pfioto Researchers; 
page 37 bottom. David Weintraub/Photo 
her page 38 top, Gilbert S. Gianl/ 
Photo Researchers; page 38 bottom, Patrick 
Eden/Stock Photos; page 40 top. Paramount 
Pictures; page 40 bottom, Tony Wang; page 
44 top, Dr. R. Clark 6 M. Goff/ Photo Re- 
searchers; page 44 bottom, Mark Evans Li- 
brary/Photo Researchers; page 46 lop, 
Sevloto. Pc'Xi" 46 bOitom. Cicuevti Initiative 
on r : ;.ychiatry; page 48, Sovfoto; pages 50- 

i . ; ■ ■.,■■!■ i ... 

Grass; pages 56-57, Andrew Unangst; page 
77, Cathrine Karnow; page 78 left, Sir PotV 
Scott/Photo Researchers; page 78 right, E v'er- 
ett Collection; page 79, Bettman Archive; 
page 80, Sovfoto; page 92, Tom Kovacs; 
page 106, Daniel J. Dyckman. 



preme. The last two finalists in the 
race— Florida Atlantic University's FAU- 
Boat and Subasaurus, sponsored by 
Benthos, Inc. in North Falmouth, Mas- 
sachusetts — both Opted for elegant, 
streamlined hulls driven by powerful, 
two-bladed propellers. What's more, 
both teams prided themselves on their 
practical, no-frills designs. "We didn't 
try to do anything fancy," says F.A.U. 
team leader Rob Coulson. "Take our bal- 
last system. We just stuck in some 
foam and lead, and that's it." 

Echoing that philosophy, Benthos 1 
Mike Bassett reports that the team had 
initially "toyed with doing all sorts of 
things. But why mess with success? 
Now we're afraid that if we chip the 
paint off, it won't work." 

As submarine races go, this one had 
a climactic finale. Sporting a menacing 
shark face on its yellow bow, FAU- 
Boattore away from the starting gate 
amid a flurry of bubbles, leaving a slow- 
to-start Subasaurus a full sub-length be- 
hind. Then it was touch and go, but the 
hometown darling refused to give up its 
lead. The underwater camera showed 

F.A.U. 's silhouette streaming to victory 
a full 1 6 seconds ahead of Subasaurus. 

Okay, so it wasn't exactly a photo fin- 
ish. Still, history was made in the annals 
of human-powered submersibles with 
the F.A.U. team setting a new world re- 
cord of 4.7 knots. 

As for Subasaurus, a dramatic turn 
of fate moved it from secend place to 
first. Although it lost the speed trophy 
to F.A.U., it walked away with the much- 
coveted $5,000 grand prize for best over- 
all performance. 

Submarine racing may not yet have 
the following of the America's Cup, but 
for a sport dreamed up over a mug of 
beer five years ago, it's evolving quick- 
ly. "The designs have improved immeas- 
urably since the inaugural race," says 
sponser Perry. "Back then, we had to 
hand some people cement blocks just 
to get their subs under the water." 

Another sign that the sport may 
have a rosy future: The number of en- 
tries is growing steadily. There were 18 
subs in the first race; by 1993, when the 
next race is scheduled, Perry antici- 
pates close to 70. And judging from the 
big plans now being hatched for the up- 
coming event including a separate com- 
petition for robotic subs, the wackiest 
inventions are yet to come. 

"It would be neat to make a complete- 
ly transparent sub out of Lucite," sug- 
gests F.A.U. oceanographer Ray McAl- 
lister "Think of the fish you'd see." An- 
other scheme that inspires him is to 
"wrap a gigantic screw around a long, 
tube-shaped hull." As he envisions it, 
the outer grooved skin would rotate 
around the passenger compartment, 
spinning the sub forward through the wa- 
ter like an Archimedes' screw. 

This kind of talk sets imaginations whir- 
ring. Charles Pell, an artist who creates 
mechanical sculptures of animals for 
the zoology department at Duke, 
speaks of entering a sub modeled af- 
ter a Kronosaur: "One of those big slip- 
pery aquatic reptiles that hung out 
with the dinosaurs." Not to be up- 
staged, Masouredis plans to build a "re- 
cyclable" sub out of beer cans that will 
roll along the seabed like a dune buggy, 

An excited young man with a business 
bent gets another brainstorm: "Why not 
set up submarine tournaments across 
the country? We'd build the stadiums 
around gigantic aquarium tanks and 
get the networks interested." 

With enough imagination, one can 
almost hear tomorrow's tech no-fans and 
spectators crowing: 

"What are these things?" DO 




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AFL-CIO: American Federation of 

AWACS: Airborne (or advanced) 

Labor-Congress of Industrial Organi- 

warning and control system 


BASF: Baden Aniline and Soda 

AM/FM: Amplitude modulation/ 



frequency modulation 


BPOE: Benevolent and Protective 

A&P: Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea 

Order of Elks 


BVD: Bradley, Voorhies, and Day 

ATM: Automated teller machine 

CAT: Computerized axial to- 

Bee Gees: Brothers Gibb 

■ *r*^^Z' r :"' ".¥ 


BMW: Bavarian Motor Works 

COBOL: Common business- 

CPR: Cardiopulmonary resuscita- 

•■■■■■ -jy-/ 

oriented language 


ESPN: Entertainment and Sports 

CONELRAD: Control of electro- 

Fubar: Fouled up beyond all 

Programming Network 

magnetic radiations 


Fannie Mae: From FNMA, Federa 

EPCOT: Experimental Prototype 

IRA: Individual retirement account 

National Mortgage Association 

Community of Tomorrow 

LCD: Liquid crystal display 

FICA: Federal Insurance Contribu 

Flak: Fliegerabwehrkanonen (air- 

LED: Light-emitting diode 

ions Act 

craft defense gun) 

3M: Minnesota Mining and 

GIGO: Garbage in, garbage out 

GAF: General Aniline and Film 


4-H: Head, heart, hands, and 

Gestapo: Geheime Staatspolizei 

MASH: Mobile army surgical 


(secret state police) 


HDL: High-density lipoprotein 

INRI: lesus Nazarenus Rex 

Modem: Modulation demodulation 

HIV: Human immunodeficiency 

ludaeorum (Latin for Jesus of 

OPEC: Organization of Petroleum 


Nazareth, King of the Jews) 

Exporting Countries 

ISBN: International standard book ISO: International Standards 

PVC; Polyvinyl chloride 


Organization (formerly ASA— speed 

RCA: Radio Corporation of 

LASER: Light amplification by 

designation for film) 


stimulated emission of radiation 

JVC: Japan Victor Company 

RDA: Recommended daily allow- 

MG: Morris Garages 

KLM: Koninglijke Luchtvaart 


MIRV: Multiple independently 

Maatschapij (Royal Dutch Airline) 

ROTC: Reserve Officers Training 

argetable reentry vehicle 

MCI: Microwave Communications 


NIMBY: Not in my back yard 

of America, Inc. 

SCUBA: Self-contained underwa- 

OSHA: Occupational Safety and 

MiG: Soviet military aircraft named 

ter breathing apparatus 

Health Administration 

after the designers, Mikoyan and 

SETI: Search for extraterrestrial 

Parsec: Parallax second 



PT: Patrol torpedo 

M&M: Mars and Murray 

Snafu: Situation normal — all fouled 

PX: Post exchange 

MRI: Magnetic resonance imaging 

up (World War II slang) 

Radar: Radio detection and 

Nazi: National sozialist 

SPF: Sun protection factor 


Necco: New England Confection- 

SRO: Standing room only 

RAM: Random access memory 

ary Company 

SWAK: Sealed with a kiss 

RFD: Rural-free delivery 

Nitinol: Nickel, titanium, and Naval 

SWAT: Special weapons and 

Rh (factor): Rhesus monkey 

Ordnance Laboratory 


RSVP: Repondez sll vous piait 

Pakistan: Punjab, Afghan border 

UHF: Ultra-high frequency 

SAM: Surface-to-air missile 

states, Kashmir, Sind, and Balu- 

UNESCO: United Nations Educa- 

SCTV: Second City Television 


tional, Scientific, and Cultural 

SEAL: Sea, air, and land capability Pap: George Papanicolaou, inven- 


SOP: Standard operating proce- 

tor of the test 

UNICEF: United Nations Interna- 


pH: pouvoir hydrogene (French 

tional Children's Emergency- Fund 

SOS: This is the trick question. The 

for hydrogen power) 

VCR: Videocassette recorder 

etters do not stand for words but 

QANTAS: Queensland and North- 

VHS: Video home system 

nstead for a Morse code signal that em Territory Aerial Service 

WAC: Women's Army Corps 

s easy to transmit and recognize: 

RKO; Radio-Keith-Orpheum 

ZIP: Zone improvement plan 

hree dots, three dashes, three dots 

Saab: Svenska Aeroplan Ab. 


By convention, SOS signifies 

Shazam: From the names 

VISTA: Volunteers in Service to 

Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, 

BASIC: Beginner's all-purpose 

Achilles, and Mercury 

symbolic instruction code 

America, a Great Society agency 

Soweto: Southwest township 

BB: Ball-bearing 

VSOP: Very superior old pale, a 

STP: Scientifically treated petrole- 

CARE: Cooperative for American 

brandy rating 

um (can also mean Standard 

Relief Everywhere 

WAVES: Women accepted for 

Temperature and Pressure) 

DEW: Distant early warning 

volunteer emergency service 

TNT: Trinitrotoluene 






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■ L.:-i i i :..=\': r -''"r.i -~-_v. 7: 

ployed me to head a team of anthro- 
pologists, sociologists, psychologists 
and other psychiatrists studying men- 
tal breakdowns among Nigerian stu- 
dents in England. Despite their MA'S 
and Ph.D.'s, these patients cast their de- 
lusions in terms of their African culture. 
They believed some sort of psychic ray 
or beam had come from Nigeria, from 
their mother's uncle or whomever, op- 
posing their wish to -become a lawyer 
or doctor. 

Omni: Is human sacrifice still practiced 
in Africa? 

Lambo: I'm told in the markets one can 
still buy human heads-. There's no 
doubt human sacrifice was practiced 
as recently as ten years ago. Certain 
tribes in remote parts may still practice 
it. Practitioners claim that the oracle or 
some other voice tells them the blood 
of a human must be sacrificed, other- 
wise the community will be wiped out 
by famine or another malevolent force. 
Men also kill to enhance their sense of 
maleness and potency. This resembles 
being thrown into the bush to fight li- 
ons as a test of manhood. If you come 
back alive, you're a big man. 
Omni: Is this a manifestation of the cas- 
tration complex? 

Lambo: No, the castration complex is 
not a physical state, according to 
Freud, but a mental attitude. What I'm 
talking about is actually physical, men 
making themselves feel important by 
beheading women and soaking them- 
selves in blood as they chop each oth- 
er up with knives and cutlasses. This al- 
so happens in other parts of the so- 
called Third World, among the aborigi- 
nal tribes in the mountains of Thailand, 
for example. These practices are not 
generally talked about, so news of 
them doesn't surface, 

I wrote a paper on a group called the 
Leopard Men Society of Nigeria, 
based on original studies done by an 
African-American, Stuart Cloete. At 
night the members of this secret soci- 
ety "changed into leopards" and com- 
mitted ritual murders. They thought 
they'd be immortalized by sucking the 
blood of their victims. This was one of 
several epidemics of violence and 
mass hysteria in Africa. Something sim- 
ilar transpired with the myth of Mpaka- 
Fo, which engendered an acute state 
of castration anxiety that could only be 
warded oft or expiated by tearing out 
the heart of a young child and offering 
it to Mpaka-Fo. 

Omni: Is ritual murder part of juju? 
Lambo: Juju is a term that covers a 

hell of a lot of things — you perform juju 
to marry a girl, put someone in a 
trance, send a supernatural message 
to your enemies, or kill someone. You 
could say the Pope uses juju when he 
drinks the wine and eats the host. But 
generally, it refers to putting others un-. 
der a spell, 

Omni: Besides psychotherapy, what oth- 
er biomedical knowledge is indigenous 
to Africa? 

Lambo: The Masai were suturing 
blood vessels, removing appendixes 
and practicing other sophisticated sur- 
gical techniques long before the Brit- 
ish. Without a vast herbal pharmacopoe- 
ia, most of Africa's tribes would long 
ago have been wiped out. 
Omni: Aren't ruthless leaders destroy- 
ing Africa's future? 

Lambo: The political system is the ma- 
jor catastrophe at the moment. How can 
you influence these sorry bastards who 
are so motivated by greed? Those of us 
committed to the progress of Africa 
feel lost, like Alice in Wonderland, For 
years, after every coup, I'd meet with 
the new Nigerian president. I'd spend 
hours telling him what's happening. But. 
even when he meant well, the poor man 
was always surrounded by people who 
wouldn't let him do the right thing. What- 
ever progress he made was soon 
ecljpsed by massive problems in 
health, agriculture and the economy, 
which always ended up suffocating un- 
der mountains of debt. 
Omni: How does mental illness in Afri- 
ca and New York City differ? 
Lambo: In Africa it's pure, if you're deal- 
ing with schizophrenia, it's schizophre- 
nia pure and simple. In the West, it will 
have multiple, masked manifestations. 
People in the Yoruba region were 
found to recover much more quickly 
and permanently than those in either 
New York or Nova Scotia. This is be- 
cause of the tremendous social support 
the Yoruba receive in the villages.. It's 
not an individual illness; it's a commu- 
nal illness. 

Some colleagues thought the Yoru- 
ba tended to get manic without being 
depressive. I told them that only from 
their Western perspective did the Af- 
rican look manic. While the European 
is withdrawn, quiet, a cornered type per- 
son, the African is so excitable that he's 
almost normally manic. 
Omni: You've coined the term, "malig- 
nant anxiety." What does it mean? 
Lambo: It describes the psychic state 
of people like the Leopard Men, a con- 
dition of excruciating, impulsive anxie- 
ty, which is action oriented. Once it has 
seized you in its grip, you have to do 
something about it— rip out the heart of 
an animal or kill someone. The phenom- 



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enon is similar to running amok in South- 
east Asian cultures. 

The person becomes deadly unsta- 
ble and perspires tremendously. When 
you hold him down and ask, "What's 
wrong?" he replies. "I don't know. I 
don't know!" People say the spirits 
have possessed him. Men in this con- 
dition have been brought to me; I've giv- 
en them sedatives and sent them 
home after they've slept for two days. 

It's much more than being anxious. 
You're not worried about something and 
can't sleep at night. You have to rush 
out and do something. The Leopard 
Men and other secret societies have de- 
veloped in those parts of Africa being 
detribalized. When we open up villag- 
es to give them hydroelectric power 
and other modern developments, we 
are also opening up thousands of 
years of cultural history. I tell you, I'm 
disappointed that none of the students 
I left behind when I went to Geneva has 
followed up on the psychological ef- 
fects of detribalization. 
Omni: What are these effects? 
Lambo: You're on your own. You've 
lost your social support, your sense of 
self. You suffer from depersonalization 
and derealization. You end up walking 
the streeis of Lagos and Ibadan disori- 
ented, sleepless, feeling you don't be- 
long. This is the penalty we pay for prog- 
ress. It's a lesson we're learning again 
today in Eastern Europe. 
Omni: What do you mean when you 
say Africans display "herd solidarity?" 
Lambo: Sometimes whole villages 
would hire a truck and arrive outside the 
gates of Aro at 4 a.m. They might have 
been on the road for days. The patient 
would be bound in ropes, suffering 
from schizophrenia or another form of 
psychosis. But if he were the son of a 
chief or the chief himself, the whole vil- 
lage had to come in solidarity. 

Tribalism is supposed to be a bal- 
anced wheel, but in practice it's a lock- 
ed brake. Herd solidarity provides tre- 
mendous social support, but you also 
have to obey its rules by not marrying 
outside the tribe and so on. Tribalism 
is a profoundly conservative influence. 
It won't vanish, but will be transformed. 
New social support mechanisms will 
take its place. Africa has many valua- 
ble things that the Western powers 
have lost. That's why I shout, "Don't 
throw the baby out with the bath water! 
Look to your own culture. Develop mod- 
els for living from it." 
Omni: Is the spirit world of the an- 
cestors still a real force in Africa. 
Lambo: Tremendously so, and I hope 
it will go on for a long time. The an- 
cestors support you. You go to their 
graves when faced with making an im- 

portant decision. The mechanism is sim- 
ilar to confession in the Catholic 
church- li you have nowhere to go, if 
you are alone in the world, you inter- 
nalize your guilt, and the on!y way out 
is suicide. In Africa the atmosphere is 
charged with supernaturalism. Even the 
man who's gotten his Ph.D. in England 
can fall back on his culture. When I was 
in Geneva, someone came into my of- 
fice and said, "Tom, they're after me. 
So and so is using juju on me." This 
man wanted to get the Ministry of 
Health and the other man didn't want 
him to. Within three days of becoming 
Minister, the man was found dead in his 
chair, maybe because of a heart attack, 
maybe not. The other was offered the 
chance lo succeed him, but he'd only 
take the job if the chair was destroyed. 
In Africans, the gods are still alive. 

We have not prepared people for 
social change. For example, Nigeria 
woke up one day and said it wanted to 
build a big cement factory in a rural ar- 
ea. No one thought about the young 
men in the villages who'd have to work 
there. None was trained to get up at 7 
a.m. Time is timeless in Africa. After do- 
ing a two-year study financed by the 
Ford Foundation, 1 found the young 
men becoming progressively more con- 
fused, depressed, anxious. Absentee- 
ism was climbing sky-high. Building 
something overnight had caused tre- 
mendous psychoneurosis. Very little 
could be done. I told the government 
and bwanas in the factory; "It's not 
enough to clear the land and build a 
factory. You started this operation with- 
out giving the slightest thought to train- 
ing the people who'd have to work 
in it." 

Omni: What model of development 
would you recommend for Africa? 
Lambo: Africa shouldn't compete with 
the Western world. We should retain our 
culture and solidarity. We need science 
and technology to guarantee quality of 
... life, improved educational and health sys- 
tems. But we should also retain our spir- 
itual dimension, In 1942, when I first 
went, to England, somebody took me to 
church. There were two of us in this 
vast place shivering in the middle of 
winter. "What kind of Utopia is this?" I 
asked myself. 

Omni: Are you pessimistic or optimis- 
tic about the future? 
Lambo: Africans are resilient and cou- 
rageous. Like a soccer ball kicked 
against the wall, they keep coming 
back at you. European man is fragile, 
while Africans are more agile, both phys- 
ically and mentally. This is why we will 
absolutely survive. But you know, 
there is no culture in the world free of 
neuroses. DQ 




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How well do you know your abbreviations? 
Take our quiz and find out. 

By Scot Morris 

While watching a football 
game between SMU and 
Texas ASM on ESPN, I 
hooked up my new JVC 
VCR, which has an LED 
readout display. Then I 
watched a VHS tape of 
M'A*S"H, fast-forwarding 
through commercials for 
MCI, STP, BMW, and 

We hear them every 
day — those initials, acro- 
nyms, and abbreviations 
that -serve as shorthand for 
various people, products, 
organizations, and technical 
terms. Some initial combi- 
nations have taken on several 
meanings. The letters CD, 
for example, can mean 
compact disc, certificate of 
deposit, or civil defense, 
depending on the context. 
Many initials immediately 
call to mind the words they 
stand for— JFK, FBI, NASA. 
However, the ones we've 
collected may sound famil- 
iar, but the link between 
the letters and what they 
stand for isn't so well-known. 
Do you know what words 
they represent? 

We've separated the 
initials into three quizzes: 
easy, hard, and very hard. 
You egn score one, two, or 
three points, respectively, 
for fully correct answers. 
Answers begin on page 92 
of this issue. 


One point each. 
Maximum: 33 points. 
Hints: The ATM window at 
your bank doesn't mean 
Any Time Money. Fubar and 
snafu are vulgar slang. 
You'll find SPF ratings on 
tanning lotions: This IRA is 
1G6 OMNf 

at a bank, 

not the Irish 

and FICA are financial; GIGO 

Hints: Flak, Gestapo, and 



is computer slang; and 

Nazi are German; INRI is 

NIMBY is sociological slang. 

Latin; KLM is Dutch; MiG is 



One item is a trick. 

Russian; and Saab is 



Swedish. BPOE is the Elk's 

Bee Gees 



Club motto. ISO is a film 




rating. CAT, MRI, and Pap 



ESPN Fannie Mae 

are medical tests. Shazam is 




cartoon character Captain 



4-H HDL 

Marvel's code word. 












am Random Dots: 

Bid you find 

__ __ ^ 

Hb the hidden 3-D 


"m^ml *^ ^ 

jffl picture in the 


wLM Jfe&s 

^r November is- 


K B 

m • sue's puzxle 


MM *«■ 

1 [peige 138]? If 

||R ffi ' 

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eyes past the 
page, the im- 
ages shown be- 
low appear to 

tul ** 

he floating 



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ipreund. They 
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Bill J 

a 1 




plus KNEE; F 



hk plus SUN minus 


J L 

&*s " 

B S. The answer 

■ r " ; 

B to the rehus is 




OSHA Parsec 




PT ■■ PX 




Radar RAM 

Flak GAF 



RFD Rh (factor) 

Gestapo INRI 











MiG M&M 


MR! Nazi 



Necco Nitinol 
Pakistan Pap 

Two points 


Very hard 


66 points. 

RKO Saab 

Hints: DEW, SAM, and SEAL 

Three points each. 

SHAZAM Soweto 

are military 

Fannie Mae 

Maximum: 99 points.